Traveling with kids shouldn't be a nightmare

Oct 20, 2010

I've slept on Amsterdam-bound trains and churches turned hostel...Snorkeled with sharks in the South Pacific and hiked through the Caribbean rainforest.  But traveling with kids is a feat that deserves an entire handbook.  Having family in the Southeast means that at least once a year, my husband and I spend one of the holidays on an eastward bound plane with two kids in tow. And while no trip is the same, we've found that several small things can be done to ease the stress of travel and make the trip enjoyable. 


1.  Lighten Up. 
I'm the queen of overpacking.  After going back and forth about the necessity of an infant car seat...for a lap child...on a trip to New York City (think subways and taxis), my husband finally gave in.  After gate checking the car seat on a completely full flight, that car seat sat in our hotel room until we checked out and ended up back underneath the plane for the flight home.   This is the one and only instance where my husband was actually right about something.


Unless you're traveling to a remote destination, avoid packing the items you wouldn't likely need or use on a trip.  You can always purchase those "just in case" items if you end up requiring them and you're less likely to lose something important. Remember that there are only two of you trying to keep up with luggage and children.   If you're traveling with small children also, consider renting car seats, strollers, and portable cribs.  

2. Think ahead. 
At least half of the instances where my children are misbehaving can be attributed to hunger or fatigue.  Since traveling can disrupt meal and sleep schedules, build in rest and downtimes.  Anticipate your child's needs by packing snacks and toys/activities, winding down before fatigue sets in, and planning activities around your child (rather than the other way around). 

3.  Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Kids stayed up too late? Ate dessert  before dinner? Missed naps all week?  Tore a hole through nice pants?  Lost a shoe?  Don't allow the "little things" to ruin a trip that you've planned and looked forward to all year.  Be flexible, gracious, and patient. Laugh and make lemonade out of lemons. Vacations don't come around again soon enough so make the most of your time together as a family and realize the memories that even small annoyances can bring.

4. Less is more. 

I've done the go-go-go until I'm ready to drop at midnight in the hotel.  I made that mistake recently on our last day in New York.  Resist the urge to see and do it all.  Make a plan with a list of the sights and activities you'd like to accomplish and focus your energy on those.  If you plan one or two activities a day, you'll be more relaxed and feel less time constraints to be somewhere else.  Planning less gives you the freedom to linger, take photographs, stop and smell the flowers, and enjoy an ice cream.

5. Time it right.

I'm notoriously late for everything.  While that may work with preschool or play dates, planes and tours won't wait.  We typically build in an extra 30 minutes to account for last minute diaper changes, forgotten sippy cups, and unexpected mishaps.  In my experience, traveling with children, even if it's a simple trip to the grocery store, takes longer than expected.  If you anticipate needing that extra time, you'll avoid missing that last ride on the Ferris Wheel.


6. Keep them busy. 
Restless, bored children begin to misbehave by engaging in attention-seeking behaviors.  I like to pack a bag full of entertainment for those times when we're waiting in line, stuck on an airplane, or preparing for the day. An unhappy toddler adds extra stress to an already difficult travel day.


7.  Relax and have fun.
You want to remember your vacation fondly and come away feeling rejuvenated.  Laugh often, avoid complaining, and remain positive as much as possible. With a little planning and flexibility, you'll be making life-long memories.

By guest blogger, Caryn, Rockinmama.net, @rockinmama

How I Finally Approached Potty Training

Oct 7, 2010

My son's third birthday came and went and the end of diapers was nowhere in sight. It had been a full year of introductions, yet my son was showing signs of non commitment.  He liked the idea of a potty...when it suited him.  Toddlers are just too busy with Thomas and Toy Story to take five minutes for a potty break. 

It wasn't entirely his fault.  There was always something that took precedence.  And the birth of our daughter at the time we should have been actively engaged in the process set us back several months.  What was once an exciting step towards becoming a "big boy" had lost its appeal.  Along with wanting to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed and drink from a bottle, my son no longer wanted anything to do with the potty.  He wanted his character-themed diapers...just like his baby sister. 

Knowing I was fighting a losing battle, I let my son dictate his readiness.  For several months the potty sat in his bathroom,  untouched.  While I had great aspirations of holding a potty training boot camp, we packed our weekends with activities and outings.  It wasn't until my son's preschool teacher gently asked me how the potty training was going that I fully committed to ditching the diapers for good.

While we are still in the midst of potty training my son, the finish line is in sight. I've been assured that my son won't go to college in diapers, but nonetheless, here are some tried and true tips for toilet training your tot. 

Ready, set, go!  It's just as important for parents to be ready as it is for the child.  Think about any upcoming life events that may interfere with the process of potty training.  Starting school, moving, and gaining a sibling are significant life events to a toddler who is building self-esteem and working towards autonomy.  It may be beneficial to wait until things have settled as a toddler very often can only handle one life change at a time.  Parents should also plan to set aside some time to focus on the task at hand.


Build Them Up!  Once my son got past his regression, all he wanted was to be a "big boy."  We bought him big boy underwear and praised him every time he was successful or went a day without accidents.  We also made a big deal out of each success with hugs, high-fives, and praises. 

Ditch the diapers...and the pull-ups!  Pull-ups today are simply modified diapers.  It's difficult for a child to feel wet in pull-ups because they're typically made to pull moisture away from the body.  My son needed the feedback of feeling wet in order to learn when it was time to use the potty.


Get them involved!  From the type of potty to the character on their underwear, it's important for toddlers to be a part of the entire process.  I once told my son that if we were going to buy him underwear, he couldn't pee on Buzz (Lighyear that is). 


When in Doubt, Bribe!  I have been known to use Gummy Bears as an incentive to use the potty.  I also let my son pick out a sticker or treat when he's successful.  Every single time.  They call that positive reinforcement! 


Expect and learn from accidents!  I remember one particular day when my son was struggling and had 3 messy accidents within the period of an hour.  Instead of fussing at him, I thought about the happenings of the day and realized I was not doing my part to remind him.  While accidents are a pain, they will decrease in number if you're both committed to the process.

By guest blogger, Caryn Bailey RockinMama