Thinking about getting a dog?

Children and dogs go together like peanut butter and jelly. And for mom and dad it’s a big gooey mess. We recently got a new dog, a chocolate lab and boy is she precious, but I wasn’t sure I was going to survive those first few weeks.

Having an untrained puppy is like having a newborn all over again. You have to get up in the middle of the night and let them out so they don’t have an accident, unless you are crate training them and then well, be prepared to be giving the dog a bath and wash the crate. The accidents drove me crazy, the kids yelling, “she bite me mommy” drove me crazy, the kids stepping in the P drove me crazy, having to walk her when the kids hate walking drove me crazy. I felt like I was herding a bunch of cats because every one of my three children (the third being the dog) was going in a different direction and we weren’t making any progress on the walk. Every activity involving all of them felt like this, come to think about it.

Now that I’ve convinced you to not get a dog with toddlers, let me tell you how to handle getting a dog with toddlers.

One, pick out a smart dog, certain breeds are smarter than others and learn faster. Do your research.

Two, pick out a family breed, certain breeds are more family friendly than others. Know what your dog’s purpose is going to be. We wanted an active family dog, so we got a chocolate lab, they are gentle, large smart dogs that learn quickly and protect their family.

Three, train the dog and not the kids. This was my vet’s advice. He said it would be much quicker to train the dog, that she is a dog and that the kids are not her playmates instead of teaching the kids. I still have to keep them from pulling her body parts, dragging her across the room, and playing tug of war. One way to teach the dog that the kids are more important is to keep her off of the couch when the kids are on it. She learns that she is at the bottom of the pecking order and this is an important lesson for her to learn.

Four, don’t give up on your dog in the first three weeks. I wanted to, but I survived and so can you. Once you get past the first six months (depending on the breed it can be soooner) it's peanut butter and jelly!

By Guest Blogger Louise Bishop from MomStart.com

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Imitation is the biggest form of flattery.”  Well, it’s not so flattering when you're two year old "imitates" that bad word you just said.  Even when you think they aren't watching or listening, your kids pick up on everything that is being said or done.  The earlier you learn this, the better.

We've unfortunately slipped a few times and said words that we would not like Evan to repeat.  Of course, he decided to repeat those words and used them in a sentence perfectly.    We then had to explain to him that those words are very ugly and Mommy and Daddy shouldn't say them anymore.
 
I'm sure anyone with a toddler or preschool-aged child can provide multiple stories of the things that their child said or did as a result of learning from mommy or daddy.  We all learn a little too late that we are our child's biggest teacher and we need to show them how to act.
 
Always think about how you would feel if your child repeated something you did or said before acting.  Try to display all of the positive values that you want them to learn such as generosity and forgiveness.  When you do slip, be sure to let them know that you were wrong and made a mistake.  Our kids won't turn out perfectly, but the best way to teach them is to lead by example.

From guest blogger, Dee, Two of a Kind

My son is practically an angel, from what I know about 6-year old boys.  He likes to draw, do art projects, and play the guitar. He has no interest in superheroes, martial arts, or baseball.  He has won eight awards for good behavior in as many weeks of school.
 
He is a chronic sign-maker who makes labels for everything in the house. Give him a stack of printer paper and a pen and he’ll produce signs until the well runs dry. He is allowed to tape them to specific walls in the house.

“JULIAN’S STUFF FROM STEP ONE” reads the sign next to his preschool artwork. “SCARLETT’S STUFF FOR JULIAN” is the heading above a column of artwork his sister has dedicated to him. “EVRYONE STUFF” says a sign taped to my living room wall. Apparently I am supposed to be taping my own artwork there.

If you’ve guessed that I can mill about the house, doing my own thing while he draws at the dining table, you’d be making the same mistake that I continue to make.

Yesterday I pulled out a box of Halloween paraphernalia for both of my kids to explore. Julian set to work, using transparent tape to plaster my house with pumpkin cutouts. He helped himself to a Tupperware container that he placed on a stool, filled it with small trinkets like plastic spiders.

Since my busy little independent beaver seemed content, I turned my focus to our 3-year old, helping her open packages of Halloween stickers that went unused last year.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Julian was holding paper up to the wall and writing on it. WITH A SHARPIE.

“TAKE ONE” read the invitation, with an arrow pointing down to the container of spiders.

Please God, let that be a stack of paper he is writing on and not a single sheet.

No such luck.

The bleed-through of the marker was minimal, but my lesson is learned:  quiet independent play can be the most dangerous kind.

By guest blogger Whitney Moss from Rookiemoms.com

I remember well-meaning friends who encouraged me to sleep as much as I could during my pregnancy...as if anything could prepare me for the years of sleep deprivation that go hand in hand with becoming a parent. Parenting a child is exhausting...mentally...physically...emotionally. But it's also one of the most rewarding aspects of my life.

There are a several parenting philosophies, many of which directly correspond to their sleep approach. Because my husband and I practice attachment parenting, our philosophy on sleep may differ from the norm. Here are some of our tried and true methods for getting all of us a good night's sleep.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel - I strive to maintain perspective by looking at the bigger picture when it comes to parenting. Each stage is short-lived, and before you know it, your infant is a walking, talking toddler. While sleep deprivation is serious with potentially negative consequences, it's temporary. Keeping that little fact in the back of my mind was just one way I dealt with the emotional side of sleep deprivation.

Defining "Sleeping Through the Night" - Once I achieved a 4-6 hour stretch of sleep, I felt like we had reached a milestone. That is because both of my children woke up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours in those first few weeks of life. Sleeping through the night can mean one 5 hour stretch to one mother and a full 8 hours of synchronized sleep for another. How long a baby sleeps is also related to whether a baby is breast or bottle feeding. Typically, bottle-fed babies sleep through the night earlier than breast-fed babies and sleep for longer stretches. It's important to define and set realistic goals about sleep, ideally during pregnancy, so that you are prepared with a plan once the baby is born.

To Co-sleep or Not to Co-sleep? - I've spoken to families who slept better when they co-slept and families who could not sleep while they co-slept. I will say that neither I, nor my children slept well when they were in their cribs. We found that it worked best to co-sleep safely because that is how we achieved the most amount of sleep, particularly when I was nursing. Co-sleeping is a very personal decision and one that families should make with guidance from their pediatrician.

Follow Your Child's Cues - Temperament and personality have more to do with sleep than you would think. Some babies like to be rocked, patted, or swung while others are content to nurse or suck on a pacifier to go to sleep. Very quickly, you'll determine what does and doesn't work for your child. While there are some very informative books on the market about the subject, remember to follow your child's cues first.

Set Realistic Expectations - I can't tell you how many times I was told by well-meaning parents how their baby was sleeping through the night by 6 or 8 weeks old. Fortunately, I did my own research and confirmed what I had learned about infant growth and development as an RN. Physiologically, an infant is not capable of sleeping through the night until 3-6 months of age. Knowing that little fact helped me understand and anticipate my children's awakenings.

Foster a Healthy Sleep Environment - Sleep is the time when the body repairs itself and rejuvenates for the day ahead. I want my children to embrace sleep, rather than fight it or be afraid of it. My husband and I routinely survey our son's room to ensure that it is dark, quiet, and free from distractions. We also strive to convey sleep as a positive experience.

For some babies and toddlers, music or white noise and a small night light can provide the security a child needs to sleep restfully. Experiment to determine what works best for you and your child.

Create a Healthy Sleep Routine - Unless we're out, our sleep routine is the same. Dinner, downtime, baths/toothbrushing, stories, hugs, and tucking in with Mr. Bear and my son's favorite blanket. Sometimes, when we're in a rush, we'll try to skip a step. But my son thrives on that routine and reminds us that we've forgotten something. When it's done right, my son happily goes to sleep, stating, "I'll see you in the morning Mommy."

Stay Consistent - Every night, we aim to get my son upstairs in his bed at 8:00 pm. On those nights when we're out and my son is ready to go to sleep, it shows in his behavior. That is because his body is accustomed to going to sleep at the same time each night. The same is true for his wake-up time; thus the importance of being consistent with his sleep times.

Be Patient - It takes much longer to help your child learn to sleep than it does to say goodnight and let your child figure it out on his own (aka the "cry it out" method). Sleep is just one of the many lessons you'll teach your child. And just like teaching your child to read or ride a bike, it takes patience, time, and love.

Ask for Help! - I had the advantage of living close to my parents when my son was an infant. Once my husband had exhausted his vacation time and returned to work, I wasn't shy about eliciting the help of friends and family members so I could rest. You would be surprised at how willing people are to help you if you just ask.

Sleep is the foundation for mental, physical, and emotional health.  I hope these tips serve as a starting point for helping you teach your child healthy sleep habits. 

By guest blogger, Caryn Baily, Rockinmama