I can count on one hand the number of times my husband and I have had a date night sans children in the past three years. In the midst of sleep training, diapers, and meltdowns, it's too easy for the weeks and months to go by without some alone time as a couple.  But like any relationship, tim

e and communication are vital for growth and renewal.  Here is some inspiration for securing regular date nights:

Make a schedule and stick to it. While I realize how unromantic it seems, we'd likely never have a date night if it wasn't on the calendar.  Scheduling date nights ensures we have child care and allows us to make reservations, pre-order show tickets, or any other prep necessary to make the most of our night.  Blocking those nights off also gives us something to look forward to and ensures that this time together does not take a back seat when life gets busy.

Make a trade with another couple.  For some families, the cost of child care prohibits regular date nights.  Offer to take turns babysitting for another couple so that each of you can enjoy a night out together every other month.  Not only will you save money, you'll develop and deepen a friendship with another family.

Make it a night in.  If finding child care is simply too difficult or expensive, commit to regular date nights while the kids are sleeping.  Regularly pencil in a date to spend time with your spouse.  Whether it's playing board games, watching a movie, cooking a special dinner, or simply engaging in a long conversation, these moments to reconnect will do wonders for your relationship.

Make it memorable.  And by memorable, I don't mean expensive. This is your opportunity to reconnect as a couple, so decide together how you will spend your time away from your kids.  Some of our best date nights didn't involve lavish dinners or swanky hotels but rather conversations into the early m

orning or snuggling with hot chocolate and a movie at home. Take a long walk, explore a new museum, work on a project together...the possibilities are endless.

Make your spouse the priority.  I'm guilty of stealing every moment I'm away from my kids to catch up on housework, errands and life. Be sure to preserve this time of togetherness by committing to focus this time on your spouse.  Before your scheduled time away, talk about how you'll deal with distractions that threaten to get in the way of your time together.

Date nights are like fuel for your relationship.  Regular time together will improve your relationship with each other and your relationship with your children.  This commitment to each other also sets an example for your children as they begin to learn about relationships.

By guest blogger, Caryn Baily, Rockinmama

My kids are 1 and 3 and are extremely jealous of each other.  My aunt was in town last week and had to laugh because both get so much attention, but they are still so jealous.  If I'm doing anything with Isabella, Evan comes right over and either does the same thing she is doing or just makes sure to get in my line of vision.

It has really been like this from the day my little girl was born.  Evan loves his sister so much and has always showered her with hugs and kisses, but I guess he still feels like he should get all of the attention.  I did understand because I was breastfeeding and infants just require a lot of one on one time.  I made sure to play with him every time that she was napping(there is no sleeping when the baby sleeps if you have more than one child).

Isabella is now 1 and recently started showing that she was jealous at times.  Both kids have started acting out more when they feel they need attention which can be a little annoying.  I try to either ignore them or calmly tell them that isn't the way to act.  Giving them attention for negative behavior doesn't' fix anything.  I make sure to take a few minutes here and there to do fun activities that involve just one of the kids.  It can be as simple as pushing trucks around the floor with Evan or pushing Isabella on the swing.

We try to do many things together as a family, but as they get older, I see that the kids benefit from occasionally taking time to do separate activities.  I recently took my son to see a movie while my daughter and husband played at home.  A few weeks before that my husband took my son to the river while I took my daughter to the park.

It isn't always about how much time you should spend with each separate child, what you're doing during your "alone" time is what matters.  I notice a big difference in my kids if they've recently had some fun one-on-one time with mommy and daddy-even if it was a 5 minute activity.  Sibling jealousy is completely normal, but it helps to do simple activities to show each of them that mommy and daddy will always have time for them.

By guest blogger, Dee, Two of a Kind

By Whitney from RookieMoms.com

When Henry Ford launched his automobile into the world, he had never even heard of television.  Now, minivans come equipped with them.

Back when the current generation of parents were themselves children, and Sesame Street was part of the average American media diet, car trips were full of Are we there yets and Slug bug YELLOW! punches.  Now, children can immerse themselves in a Pixar video and look out the car window for the first time just in time for the car to roll into the LEGOland parking lot.  Siblings may speak less than five words to each other during a two-hour ride.

Is this healthy?

Isn’t gazing out the window and learning the lay of your state’s land part of one’s basic education? How about road trip games? That’s quality family time. And being bored? Experts now claim it’s good for children.

On the other hand, when momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy, or so says the frequently quoted adage. So, the possibility of arriving at a destination without enduring hours of bickering and whining is a tremendous upside to TV in the car.

So, I vote YES to TV in the car. A thousand times yes. I do buy the “being bored is good for kids” argument, but not to the extent that I might suffer for it on a precious vacation day.

Since our car did not come with an embedded DVD player, we attach a portable one to the back of the front seats on rides that exceed one hour. It has two screens so both kids can see the same movie without craning their necks.  When we arrive at our destination, we remove the screens to avoid the inevitable requests for movies as we drive from a hotel to a nearby restaurant. (To purchase one like this, search for a “dual screen portable DVD player” on your favorite online store.)

On which side of this debate do you land?

And by the way, you parents who are pretending that handing your kid an iPhone is somehow different than a DVD player, I beg to differ. Unless they are using the camera for documentary purposes, it is unlikely that iPhone users are enjoying the landscape of our great nation.

Whitney Moss is the co-founder of RookieMoms.com along with her partner Heather Flett. They are also the authors of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook: 250 activities to do with (and without!) your baby.

By Whitney from Rookie Moms

Twice my 5-year old son has been to the Ringling Brothers Circus, and twice we left at intermission. 

Heather serves her children vanilla yogurt or plain fruit and calls it dessert. She drinks out of their hot chocolate mugs when they are not looking.

We buy “all-you-can-visit” membership passes to museums and zoos so we can cut out of there at the slightest hint of a meltdown without worrying that we have wasted money on single-use tickets.

Are we the meanest moms around?

I would argue not. We simply share a philosophy that small children need everything in small doses. I would not serve my 2-year old a full surf and turf meal and ask her to clean her plate. Why would I expect her to enjoy a full day at Disneyland? Well, I didn’t!
 
While we took our big boy to Disneyland, his little sister went to the Disney store with Grandma. Is that so wrong? She got three healthy meals and a long nap, plus time to fondle Snow White costumes and stuffed Nemos. At the end of the trip, they both got the age-appropriate dose of Disney (and we saved on double park admission prices!).

Travel can be full of exciting experiences for kids, but their ability to process entertainment, food, and other stimulation is on a smaller scale than ours.

So if you see my eating my daughter’s cupcake at a birthday party this weekend, you’ll understand why.

Heather Flett and Whitney Moss are authors of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook: 250 Activities to do With (and Without!) Your Baby. They also share crazy fun activities at Rookie Moms and 510Families.com. They each have two children and live in Berkeley, CA.

I’ve been a mother now for over 13 years. If you count the time that I was pregnant with KitKat, my darling teenager, then we could just round up to 14. Fourteen years. Motherhood is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job. If I’ve done my math correctly, I’ve clocked approximately 122,640 hours of parenting. No wonder I’m tired.

During those 122,640 hours, I’ve learned a thing or two about raising well adjusted, independent, happy kids. I’m far from perfect. Most days, I I don’t even know if I could consider myself “good” at this. Let’s just say that it’s easier to have brilliant ideas than to put them all into practice.

   1. Read together regularly, even when they get “big.”
   2. Teach your kids how to cook basic meals and treats as soon as they start school. Cooking is great practice for math, science, and reading.
   3. Learn how to cut kids’ hair (and then start taking them in to the salon once they hit middle school)
   4. Cut loose and act silly around your kids. They’ll respect you all the more for it (although they will most certainly give you funny looks in the mean time)

   5. Volunteer in their classrooms whenever possible. Chaperone field trips.
   6. Talk to other parents with kids your family’s age. You will be shocked (and comforted) to find that other people are dealing with the same issues.
   7. Bribery is perfectly fine.
   8. So is time out. There must be consequences.
   9. There are certain things that are not negotiable–like wearing seat belts or using the big scissors. Be clear on those non-negotiables and don’t make exceptions. In other words, be consistent.
  10. Tell your kids you love them and have some kind of physical contact everyday.

What have you learned in your years as a parent?

As I was making this “serious” list, I was totally imagining the things that would make it on to my “don’t do this” list. What would YOU add to that one?

Evenflo just launched a witty & humorous video series called the “SavvyParents Guide” on the Juice Bo

Reposted from BetterInBulk

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