It’s February and you know what that means? It’s all about love. Chocolate hearts, cards with warm sentiments, sharing it with those who mean so much to us. But this month, instead of thinking about how much I love my husband, I switched it up a bit and put my kids in there. I really wanted to explore why I love being a parent.

Now look, you know as well as me that it’s not all wine and roses, something I talk about a lot. I try to paint a realistic view of parenting, the joys as well as the pains, and there are plenty of both. My challenges now are a little bit different in that my little ones are not so little (in fact, one of them is taller than me) and they talk back. A lot.  But even with that said, I still love being a mom.

Today I was thinking a lot about it and what exactly it was that I loved so much about it. I think it’s different for every stage I’ve experienced with my kids.

LOVE IS-A TRUE SMILE: I’ll never forget when my daughter smiled at me for the first time. Of course she had done it before but those gassy grins don’t count. But when she was about eight weeks old, she broke out into a huge grin in response to my cooing at her. My heart fluttered so wildly I thought I might faint. I still feel that way sometimes.

LOVE IS-GENUINE EMOTION: To me, there are few things better than being greeted by a toddler.  You remember don’t you? They spot you from across the room and drop whatever it is they were doing to run to you and clasp their plump little hands around the back of your neck, completely pure in their adoration.  They don’t even have to say, “I love you” since it’s showcased in the most transparent fashion.

LOVE IS-REAL CARING: My kids are teenagers now and sometimes it’s hard to get a gauge on what they’re feeling, since most of their answers to my questions are monosyllabic. But the other day, I slipped and fell on the ice. My son dropped his book bag to come help me up, and then took over the role of salting the rest of the driveway. My daughter, as soon as she got home, walked over to the cupboard to get me some pain relief medication. Each in their own way demonstrated true care and concern for me and it made my heart swell.

LOVE IS- ALL THAT AND MORE: I have no idea what the next several months or years may bring. But I do know that even in my perfect imperfection, my children love me and you know what that means? I did something right. All those nights I lay awake wondering if I was causing irreparable damage because I wasn’t “doing it right” were just wasted energy. Parenting is such a visceral thing, given there’s no handbook that comes with that 8-pound baby.  So even though I was feeling my way through the day (and continue to) it’s moments like this that make me see that clearly I’m doing something right.

What about you, what do you love about being a parent? Which of your kids’ age did you love best and why?

Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

Time to get moving!

In November you said you would do it after Thanksgiving. Then the cold weather set in and those Christmas cookies were so yummy. But now it’s January and you can no longer deny that those jeans that you worked so hard to get back into after the baby, you now have to work doubly hard to get zipped.  Let’s not even talk about trying to get them buttoned! Yep, it’s time for a change.

Trust me; this is something I know a lot about. I have gained and lost more weight than I care to talk about. I’ll be the first to admit: It’s hard! That doesn’t mean impossible; a few consistent small changes can add up to big results. Here are four things to remember:

BE REALISTIC:  Right after I had my babies, I was so, well, squishy. You know what I’m talking about. Soft and round all over and I couldn't wait not to be. I embarked on a rigorous diet and exercise program that left me tired and irritable and oh, did I mention STARVING?!? So the first thing in the march to reclaim your body is to be realistic. Remember it’s going to take a little bit of time to get that weight off. Sleep is also a big part of weight loss so it’s imperative you get your rest too.

MAKE SMALL CHANGES:  I’m going to let you in on a secret; I have a RAGING sweet tooth that derails even my most basic attempts at fitness. Well, this year, I decided that instead of saying things like, “I’m not going to eat candy this month,” I’ll say, “I’m not going to eat candy TODAY.”  In other words, I’ll take that big, hairy, unwieldy goal and break it down into something more manageable. I know we’re only a few weeks into the New Year but I am pleased to report, it seems to be working. Try it!

BE CONSISTENT: This is critical! Look, in high school you didn't learn French by studying it one day a week, right? You needed to study it every day, review it and work hard on the stuff that didn’t come easy to you. It’s the same thing with your fitness goals; you can’t expect to see real change if you dip in and out, averaging one workout every other week. Commit to working at it every day.

MAKE IT A PRIORITY:  Ah yes, this is the one that’s hardest for us moms, isn’t it? I always say it’s because we’re living so many other people’s lives that ours sort of gets squeezed out of there. Pretty soon it’s easy to scribble out the workout because of a play date or sick child. Well, no more! Time to make exercise, and you, a priority! That mean’s putting it in your calendar, circled in red, with reminders! As a member of Evenflo’s Savvy Parent campaign, I know real life can sometimes derail even the best of plans, so make sure you have a backup plan. If you can’t get out to the gym, pop in an exercise video or find one on YouTube and get a work out in at home. Double the fun by putting baby in an ExerSaucer or  Johnny Jump Up in the room with you, so she can get moving too.  But don’t give up just because plans change; remember the long-term goal, which is good health so that you can be the best to you and the others in your life. 

Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

You wouldn’t really blame me, would you, if I said I feared the holiday season? It’s not the idea of cooking (though that terrifies me) or the idea of company for more than three days (that terrifies me too). No, for the same reasons Pavolv’s dogs salivated at the sound of the bell, I have a conditioned response to the holidays and unfortunately it’s not a good one.

To be fair, I should say that I USED to fear this time of year. I’m getting over it. This time five years ago, I heard though the grapevine that I would be losing my high profile job. This happened as I was finalizing plans to have my mastectomy. Two years later, during the same time of year, I was hospitalized with a respiratory infection that resulted in my hair falling out. A year later, a job that I just KNEW was going to change my luck and give my family a firm financial footing, didn’t materialize. And on it went.

As I said, that’s all changing because I decided that instead of looking at what I didn’t have, what I had gone through and wondering why me, I was going to start looking at the stuff that was going right in my life. So here they are five things I am thankful for:

• My Family:  I know everyone says that, but I really mean it! I think of my family as a buffer against the storms of life.  I’ve got a great husband who’s been with me through this time of transition, both physical and occupational. I have these two great kids, who remind me daily that I am doing something right. It’s such a joy to watch them mature into young adults. Even better when they seem to now understand the basics of good hygiene! 
• My Health: I couldn’t say that a few years ago. Weak from my five-hour operation, it took the better part of a year for me to regain my strength after my mastectomy. I wasn’t sure I would ever be the same. It took time, but with diet and steady exercise I’m as strong as I used to be. Well, almost.
• My Hair: This was the biggest surprised of all. I have always had a love-hate relationship with my hair, mainly because I was trying to get it to do something it didn’t want to or wasn’t designed to do (sound familiar?). When my hair fell out I decided no more chemicals and I was going to accept it for what it was. That was pivotal in my reinvention because it was around that time I really started accepting ME for who I was. Plain ol’, imperfect, Good Enough Mother!
• My Home: I complain about the housework. I complain that I can’t close the refrigerator door because there’s too much stuff inside. I complain that I can hear the kids shouting from their rooms. But the reality is that the housework is done in the house that I own; the full refrigerator means no one will go hungry and the kid’s have their own rooms. Time to stop complaining.
• My Passion: I get tired and like everyone else, sometimes I want to give up. But I don’t. Why? Because I feel like, at this late age, I found my life’s work. I’m happy to share my health and hair stories as well as my parenting foibles if it makes women feel better about the job they are doing as wives and mothers. I want them to be okay with taking themselves off the bottom of the “to-do” list and to understand that by taking care of themselves, they truly ARE taking care of their families.
• So I’ll be counting my blessings as I peer over the dinner we could afford to buy and that my husband made (which is of course, one more thing to be thankful for). I’ll rejoice in the one hour ceasefire among the warring factions and marvel, like I do every year, at how grown my children are and how blessed I am to be a part of their lives. No one said this life would be easy but even in the struggle it is a beautiful thing.

What will you be thankful for this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

Fall is upon us; isn’t it glorious? When I was a kid, spring was my favorite season, even though the allergies would have me spying the budding newness through itchy, watery eyes. But as I get older, I find it is autumn that I love the most. There is something about the crisp air, the pronounced change of season, hot apple cider and neck scarves. Yep, spring with sandals and sundresses are fine, but give me fall, a great hat and boots any day.

It’s also a great time to get your young one out from in front of the TV and into the great outdoors. Alas, at times that’s easier said than done! “But Mom.. it’s COLD” (or wet or buggy… insert your own frequently heard complaint).” If you haven’t had much luck getting their keesters off the couch, here are some things you can try:

• Think outside the box: The “Big Family Outing” doesn’t have to be a big, family outing. It can be something relatively simple like taking the dog and a Thermos full of cocoa to a new park. Maybe it’s raking leaves for the neighbor (with the promise they can jump in the pile a few times) or grilling hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire pit in the backyard.  The point is that it doesn’t have to be a grand production.  Your kids will still get the benefits of a bit of fresh air in the process.
• Let the kids plan the field trip fun: If you want to do something a little more adventurous, how about turning the planning over to them? Even little kids can tell you what they want to do, and with a little guidance, you can all come up with something really fun to do for which they can have a bit of ownership. It’s also a great opportunity to create memories. For us, it’s the annual Apple Picking Trip. It was something we decided to do as a family about eight years ago, and even though my kids are older now they still look forward to going.

• When all else fails, bribery: Look I said I was the good enough mother not the good mother. Sometimes it takes more than, “It will be fun” to get them to move, especially as they get older. So as a last resort, I throw in something that they’ll like; maybe it’s a promise to eat out or a new song on iTunes. I don’t have to resort to this often, but it works great in a pinch.  Then guess what happens? Once they get outside they have a great time, proving once again, that old, unhip Mom knew what she was talking about all along.

What about you? What do you do to get your kids out from in front of the TV on a beautiful fall day?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

When our first baby, Casey, came along, my husband and I were determined to make sure she assimilated into our life, not the other way around. We were pretty active and keen on keeping it that way. But there were a lot of things to think about when our duo became a trio, and in the forefront of our minds, like all parents, was safety. I was thinking about this since September is National Baby Safety Month. Keeping baby safe is really sort of all encompassing.  In those early days, what I thought most about was keeping Casey safe in transit for those trips around the block, when I would strap her in the car seat and pray she would go to sleep. Yeah I did that. With this in mind, here are some of my top safety tips from one good enough mother to another.

THE CAR SEAT:  Ahh yes…car seats. For the record, they’re much easier to install now, than even a few years ago. I wish I had a nickel for each time I spent struggling and sweating to make sure the car’s seatbelt was tight enough, then tugging to make sure the car seat itself didn’t move or rock if I took a sharp turn, or God-forbid, worse. Now, with bases that click and lock, you know it’s in there to stay. Bonus: you can get them in and out quickly, provided you know what you're doing. My recommendation is to find one you are really comfortable dealing with, since your baby will spend quite a bit of time in it. Ask around and read product reviews and make sure you find one that will give you the most “bang for your buck,”  and always read the entire instruction manual before using the car seat.

BABY GATES: Now if you’ve driving over the river and through the woods to let’s say Grandmother’s house, everyone, including your toddler, is going to be itching to get out and stretch their legs. And that’s good. But if you’re at grandma’s house, a baby gate is going to be a must, seein’ as it may have been a while since a little one’s been tooling around her house. The gates nowadays are lightweight and sturdy, which translates to peace of mind for you. You need this because having a little one who’s mobile is the very definition of a “game-changer.”

BABY-PROOFING: And then there’s this, catchall term. You know you need to do it, but what is IT exactly? You’re probably aware of the usual things, like covering electrical outlets. But also take extra care in the kitchen. If you’re still at Grandma’s, ask her to turn down the hot water heater to 120 degrees Fahrenheit and keep all medications out of reach of little hands.

Here’s one more trick I used. I loved being on the floor with my kids. So while I was down there tickling and loving on them, I would take a good look around so I could see the world from their perspective. What’s at eye level? What’s brightly colored and dangling off the counter, just waiting to be tugged on? What little tiny objects did the vacuum miss, that are now tucked away in the corner, just waiting to be popped in a mouth? You might be surprised what you find. Of course, it means finding the fun in putting stray pieces of string in your mouth, but if it will help keep baby safe, get on down there and take one for the team! A little planning and forethought can go a long way to making sure your baby grows up happy and healthy.

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

I remember two things very clearly about my own nursing experience. First, it was so much more rewarding than I had anticipated. I didn’t go into my first pregnancy feeling strongly about breastfeeding one way or the other and really hadn’t given it much thought until my OB mentioned it to me. The other thing I remember - it wasn’t easy.

Hang on! Don’t stop reading just yet. I don’t say that to dissuade you, but I do want to give you the truth. Of course, it’s not like that for everyone but it took a minute (well several actually) for me to really get the hang of breastfeeding. So if you’re thinking of nursing, I say go for it and try these tips.

* BE PATIENT: Get this in your head right now. Even though you have the “equipment” you might not have the know-how, yet. That will change if you just take it one step at a time. I remember thinking nursing was going to be as easy as popping a breast into the mouth of a hungry baby and it would be the most wonderful, fulfilling experience in the world. That was true, but not right away. My daughter was a fussy nurser. Ultimately I had to hire a “lactation consultant” and three of us (my mother was in the mix too) would be hovering over one engorged breast, begging this baby to eat (okay, I was begging). After about a week or so, something miraculous happened; like learning the steps with a new dance partner, Casey and I figured it out and it was smooth sailing from that point on.

* FIND NURSING-FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENTS: My favorite time to nurse my kids was at the end of the day. I was able to get completely in the moment and enjoy my baby; everyone was relaxed and it was a wonderful time of bonding. But relaxation is key and that’s hard to do when you’re trying to feed your baby in the stall of a public restroom because there’s no place else to go. Yes, I did that. Yes, it was not pleasant. So if you’re going to be out and about with baby, keep an eye out for places that have nursing friendly environments. Big department stores typically have a lounge area with comfy sofas that will work perfectly.

* PLAN AHEAD: I had to return to my life as a busy news anchor while I was still nursing and everyone knew it too. Why? Because the contraption I used to pump was ENORMOUS!  And it came in a HUGE blue, hardcover case. Once, while going through security at the airport, I had it on my shoulder and when I bent over, it fell and hit an elderly woman in the head. I was mortified because it almost knocked her out! Yes, it was that big! Thank goodness they aren’t anymore. Breast pumps today are better designed to make pumping a breeze and they’re often small enough to fit in your diaper bag so you don’t have to juggle three bags and a baby! That’s what I call convenience with a capital C!

One last tip: Don’t worry about what everyone else says about how it “should” be done. Listen to your gut, be patient and work with your baby until the two of you figure it out. You may ultimately decide that nursing isn’t for you and that’s okay too. I hope these tips help, if you do decide to give it a go.

Best of luck, mommy!

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

Congratulations! Your baby is now here and, unbeknownst to you, he or she is incredibly talented.

Yes, you thought you were getting a run-of-the-mill kid who pooped and drooled, bestowing the occasional smile in between. Nope, not you. You gave birth to the smartest baby on the planet because he/she exited the womb knowing how to tell time. A wonderful thing, right? WRONG!  Because you’re a teacher who works 8 to 5 and your little bundle of joy keeps the hours of a hard-partying rock star, with similar vocal ability and temperament. Welcome to the world of the 3am feeding.

Of all the difficult tasks when baby first comes home, managing the 3am feeding is the toughest of all.

And as you doubtlessly know by now, you can’t even set your clock for 3am – your baby’s hunger can come on anytime between the hours of “I-just-shut-my-eyes” to “surely-it’s-not-time-to-get-up-yet.”

I remember that nocturnal time like it was yesterday; truth be told, I never understood the term “bone-weary” until I had an infant. But now, being on the other side, let me offer a few tips to make the nighttime journey more palatable. Okay forget I said that, how about just bearable? Here’s a little Good Enough Mother advice to get you through these tough times…

SLEEP WHEN YOU CAN:  You know why people say that? Because fatigue is not your friend. It colors your mood and makes you feel old and look wrinkly. That’s not a good combination. So you have to grab a wink here and there, when and where you can. The dishes can wait! Who cares if the laundry doesn’t get done today? Hubby has no clean underwear?  Have him buy more. You had high hopes for a real home cooked meal (After 17 years, my husband is still waiting on that)? It ain’t gonna happen tonight! It’s not always going to be like this, but it is for the time being. This is like battlefield triage; you will stem the bleeding but it won’t be pretty.

BE PREPARED: Listen, I didn’t spend my entire childhood as a girl scout in troop 573 and not learn a thing or two. You gotta be prepared! Have a plan, and in this case (if you’re not nursing) it’s a bottle that’s good to go. Now my kids are a little older so I didn’t have the benefit of some of the cool things they have now, but having that bottle ready made life so much easier. 

ASK FOR HELP: Okay, there will be times where doing it all is going to earn you the undying love, support and admiration of the masses. This is not one of them. Trying to do so will result in extreme fatigue and you know what that does (see above). So when your mom or mother-in-law volunteers to take the baby for a couple of hours, take them up on it! This is not the time to be a hero and truth be told, even a baby who can tell time is not going to notice you’re gone for a few hours. This is a win-win; mom or mom-in-law gets their baby fix and you get the rapid eye sleep you’ve been deprived of since the second trimester. What’s not to love about that?

So those are my three tips – but what about you? What’s worked for you so far? I’d love to hear about your experiences…

Oh and one more thing. Remember this - it doesn’t last forever. It only feels like it does.

Good luck!

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother