For months my husband and I had conversations about the "right time" to add to our family.  My first excuse was that our little boy was still a baby and I wanted more time with him.  Subsequent excuses included financial freedom, career advancement and even a clean house.  Alas, the decision was made when one day, that little plus sign changed our lives once again.  The truth is, I was scared to add a second child to the mix.  I didn't grow up with siblings and I had no idea if my time management and organization skills could handle a second child.  Couple that with experienced mothers who'd advised me that adding a second child was more than twice the work, and I was convinced that if the decision had been left up to me, we may never have added to our family.  It's been one year, and I can honestly say that I've finally reached a point where the days when things go right far outnumber the days when they don't.  And I'll venture to say that my two sweet children have captured my heart so completely, that I may even think about adding a third to the mix.  So how did we manage to survive a year with an infant and a toddler while maintaining our sanity?

Get organized.  My experienced mom friends weren't exaggerating when they said that two is more than double the amount of work.  The closer the children are in age, the more difficult it will be...for a time.  Getting and staying organized will help alleviate the busyness of this time.  Whether it's maintaining an online calendar to keep track of schedules or simply starting a routine to pick up at the end of the night, organization decreases stress, frustration and chaos.  Setting goals for the day also helps to keep us organized and productive. 

Don't sweat the small stuff.  It wasn't until my daughter was born that I realized how much time and energy were wasted on things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of life.  A night of staying up too late, a rainy day spent indoors with the television, and a meal without veggies won't negatively affect a child's well-being.  I've slowly learned those things that are worth reacting to and those that are not.

Prioritize what's important.  It's amazing how time can fly or stand still from one moment to the next. When I look at my 3 1/2 year old son, I wonder how my sweet tiny baby became this spirited little boy.  At the same time, those days of sleeplessness, potty training, and tantrums seem like an eternity.  Because there is only one of me and a finite number of hours in the day, I've learned to focus on those things that are important in that moment. Whether it's putting aside the dishes to comfort my toddler or spending the day at the park instead of doing chores, I've learned to relinquish the guilt of failing to complete the little things that are relatively unimportant. 

Seek Support.  I can't count the number of tears I've shed out of fear, frustration, or discouragement.  It's in those moments when I feel like a failure that I need the support of my husband, my best friends, and my mom the most.  Elicit a few good friends or family members that you feel comfortable sharing, venting, and seeking support and advice from.  You can also join a local mom's club. 

Equip yourself with tools from the past.  In some ways, the second child is easier.  You know when to call the doctor and when you can treat your child at home.  You've developed your discipline style and have experience with sleep and potty training.  Make use of those experiences to guide your parenting, while recognizing that each child is unique and may need a varied approach. 

Take a break.  Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility.  It's ok to admit that you're emotionally and physically exhausted.  When I find my patience wearing thin or my mood becoming irritable, it's time to refuel.  My husband and I work together to give each other a little extra sleep, some alone time, or a night out with friends. 

Remember that it will get better. As I look back on the past year, I've seen a change...a growth and maturity in my son.  He's less of a baby and more like a child and his actions are reflective of that. 

By Guest Blogger Caryn from Rockin Mama

I was very strategic about introducing foods to both of my children.  I knew that getting them to eat  and like vegetables at an early age was the goal.  Taste preferences are shaped very early and the window for introducing foods is small.


In those early months of pureed peas, I already sensed that getting my son to eat vegetables would be a challenge.  I would often do things like give him a spoon of fruit and then veggies, mix the fruit with the veggies, or even hide the veggies in the fruit. As he got older, and savvier, he would pick out the vegetables he could see, which meant I couldn't hide them anymore.


Several weeks ago, a friend and I were out to dinner with our kids. We were at the same restaurant, but our children ate completely different meals.  At one point she asked me how I get my son to eat healthy foods, including vegetables.

Here are just a few simple ways we've managed to teach our children to eat vegetables without force, threats, or deception (although, we may have bribed him a few times!).


1.  Start Early!  Taste preferences are shaped very early in life.  Consider starting your baby on vegetables rather than the traditional rice cereal or fruit.  If you want to get a head start, eat a wide variety of vegetables during pregnancy and while you're nursing so the flavors are familiar to your baby. 

2.  Be Persistent!  According to Dr. Greene, it takes 6-10 attempts for a baby to develop a preference for a new flavor.  Most parents stop before this and assume their baby (or child) doesn't like the food they introduced.  I gave my son the same vegetables day after day when he was a baby to truly determine if it was something he did or didn't like.

3.  Role Model!  Since dinner is the only meal we all sit down together for, we used that time as an opportunity to role model the types of foods we wanted our son to eat.  Once he was old enough to eat food from our plate, we'd give him little pieces of our veggies.

4.  Educate!  We read books about vegetables to my son, bought him plush toy vegetables to play and learn with, and occasionally popped in a video with kids and characters eating vegetables.  It's important to start educating children early on about the importance of eating vegetables while creating a positive image surrounding them. 

5.  Give Options!  As my son got older, we began asking him what vegetables he wanted for a meal.  We give him some freedom and guidance when it comes to selecting those vegetables.  My son is more wiling to eat veggies when he is given some autonomy. 

6.  Get them involved!  Whether it's planting a garden, selecting veggies at the grocery store or helping to season them, my son is more willing to eat them when he's been involved.  

7.  Get creative!  Animals, smiley faces, shapes and more...there is no limit to the number of creative way to serve up vegetables.  Use a cookie cutter to make vegetable shapes, whip up some fun (and healthy) dips, and get your kids excited about eating their veggies.

Getting your children to eat their veggies doesn't have to be a daunting task. With a little patience and creativity, you may just be able to instill a lifelong love of vegetables in your children.

By guest blogger, Caryn Baily, Rockinmama

I didn't grow up attending large family gatherings around the holidays. Some years, when it was just the three of us, we'd take a mini vacation and celebrate in unique and non-traditional ways. The very first trip my husband and I took together was to visit his family for Thanksgiving. After a long weekend filled with extended family, Southern cooking, and football, I realized that I wanted the holidays to be special, particularly when children entered the mix.

It's very easy to get caught up in the busyness of the holidays. My husband and I vow each year to create unique, memorable experiences for our children, while instilling within them the true reason behind each season.

Pause...Reflect... What do you remember about the holidays as a child? What message do you want to convey to your children about the season? Think about how you can incorporate some of the magic you felt into the present day. Perhaps it was a special place, a favorite meal, a cherished song... Each year, my husband and I combine some of our best-loved memories with new inspirations for a truly memorable season.

Intermix old and new traditions. Growing up, my mom and I used to shop the day after Thanksgiving. My father would join us at the movies when we'd worn ourselves out. We plan to continue these two traditions with our family, along with some new ones we've introduced, like decorating Gingerbread Houses. Incorporating family traditions bridges generations and families. Talk to grandparents about how they celebrated the holidays throughout their seasons of life. Glean inspiration from family members to start your own traditions.  Ask family members, including children, to describe one tradition they'd like to celebrate each year.  Some of my favorite traditions include going around the table to state what each family member was thankful for at Thanksgiving and picking out gift exchange partners for Christmas.

Engage your senses. So many of my childhood memories of the holidays are tied to sights, sounds, and smells.  I still remember waking up to the smell of rice pilaf on Thanksgiving Day and sipping eggnog while decorating the tree at Christmas.  While I am not opposed to the convenience of prepared meals, I believe that the smell and taste of a home-cooked holiday meal creates warmth, promotes togetherness, and bonds families during the holidays.  Brew cinnamon in the kitchen...decorate the family Christmas tree with ornaments you've created together...involve children in the process of cooking and baking holiday dishes. 

Stroll off the beaten path. I will forever remember the year my parents and I spent Thanksgiving in San Francisco. We ate seafood in place of turkey and stuffing and toured Alcatraz instead of watching football. While I believe that there is value in upholding traditions, some of my most memorable childhood experiences were those that were unconventional, creative, and outside the box. Take a staycation... eat a nontraditional meal...engage in new and exciting activities.

Document, Photograph, and Record Memories. In my children's three short years of life, specific moments are starting to blur. Despite the fact that I take a ton of photos and videos of my children, there are moments I've failed to capture. Commit to creating photobooks, scrapbooks, photo montages, or videos of your annual holiday celebrations to look back on as time passes. Whether it's taking a yearly family photo or writing a seasonal family newsletter, years from now you'll cherish the ability to relive those memories you created.

This holiday season, take time to reflect on what's important to you as you celebrate with your family.  With a little thought and creativity, you can create a lifetime of memories....

By guest blogger Caryn Bailey at RockinMama

I've slept on Amsterdam-bound trains and churches turned hostel...Snorkeled with sharks in the South Pacific and hiked through the Caribbean rainforest.  But traveling with kids is a feat that deserves an entire handbook.  Having family in the Southeast means that at least once a year, my husband and I spend one of the holidays on an eastward bound plane with two kids in tow. And while no trip is the same, we've found that several small things can be done to ease the stress of travel and make the trip enjoyable. 

1.  Lighten Up. 
I'm the queen of overpacking.  After going back and forth about the necessity of an infant car seat...for a lap child...on a trip to New York City (think subways and taxis), my husband finally gave in.  After gate checking the car seat on a completely full flight, that car seat sat in our hotel room until we checked out and ended up back underneath the plane for the flight home.   This is the one and only instance where my husband was actually right about something.

Unless you're traveling to a remote destination, avoid packing the items you wouldn't likely need or use on a trip.  You can always purchase those "just in case" items if you end up requiring them and you're less likely to lose something important. Remember that there are only two of you trying to keep up with luggage and children.   If you're traveling with small children also, consider renting car seats, strollers, and portable cribs.  

2. Think ahead. 
At least half of the instances where my children are misbehaving can be attributed to hunger or fatigue.  Since traveling can disrupt meal and sleep schedules, build in rest and downtimes.  Anticipate your child's needs by packing snacks and toys/activities, winding down before fatigue sets in, and planning activities around your child (rather than the other way around). 

3.  Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Kids stayed up too late? Ate dessert  before dinner? Missed naps all week?  Tore a hole through nice pants?  Lost a shoe?  Don't allow the "little things" to ruin a trip that you've planned and looked forward to all year.  Be flexible, gracious, and patient. Laugh and make lemonade out of lemons. Vacations don't come around again soon enough so make the most of your time together as a family and realize the memories that even small annoyances can bring.

4. Less is more. 

I've done the go-go-go until I'm ready to drop at midnight in the hotel.  I made that mistake recently on our last day in New York.  Resist the urge to see and do it all.  Make a plan with a list of the sights and activities you'd like to accomplish and focus your energy on those.  If you plan one or two activities a day, you'll be more relaxed and feel less time constraints to be somewhere else.  Planning less gives you the freedom to linger, take photographs, stop and smell the flowers, and enjoy an ice cream.

5. Time it right.

I'm notoriously late for everything.  While that may work with preschool or play dates, planes and tours won't wait.  We typically build in an extra 30 minutes to account for last minute diaper changes, forgotten sippy cups, and unexpected mishaps.  In my experience, traveling with children, even if it's a simple trip to the grocery store, takes longer than expected.  If you anticipate needing that extra time, you'll avoid missing that last ride on the Ferris Wheel.

6. Keep them busy. 
Restless, bored children begin to misbehave by engaging in attention-seeking behaviors.  I like to pack a bag full of entertainment for those times when we're waiting in line, stuck on an airplane, or preparing for the day. An unhappy toddler adds extra stress to an already difficult travel day.

7.  Relax and have fun.
You want to remember your vacation fondly and come away feeling rejuvenated.  Laugh often, avoid complaining, and remain positive as much as possible. With a little planning and flexibility, you'll be making life-long memories.

By guest blogger, Caryn, Rockinmama.net, @rockinmama

My son's third birthday came and went and the end of diapers was nowhere in sight. It had been a full year of introductions, yet my son was showing signs of non commitment.  He liked the idea of a potty...when it suited him.  Toddlers are just too busy with Thomas and Toy Story to take five minutes for a potty break. 

It wasn't entirely his fault.  There was always something that took precedence.  And the birth of our daughter at the time we should have been actively engaged in the process set us back several months.  What was once an exciting step towards becoming a "big boy" had lost its appeal.  Along with wanting to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed and drink from a bottle, my son no longer wanted anything to do with the potty.  He wanted his character-themed diapers...just like his baby sister. 

Knowing I was fighting a losing battle, I let my son dictate his readiness.  For several months the potty sat in his bathroom,  untouched.  While I had great aspirations of holding a potty training boot camp, we packed our weekends with activities and outings.  It wasn't until my son's preschool teacher gently asked me how the potty training was going that I fully committed to ditching the diapers for good.

While we are still in the midst of potty training my son, the finish line is in sight. I've been assured that my son won't go to college in diapers, but nonetheless, here are some tried and true tips for toilet training your tot. 

Ready, set, go!  It's just as important for parents to be ready as it is for the child.  Think about any upcoming life events that may interfere with the process of potty training.  Starting school, moving, and gaining a sibling are significant life events to a toddler who is building self-esteem and working towards autonomy.  It may be beneficial to wait until things have settled as a toddler very often can only handle one life change at a time.  Parents should also plan to set aside some time to focus on the task at hand.

Build Them Up!  Once my son got past his regression, all he wanted was to be a "big boy."  We bought him big boy underwear and praised him every time he was successful or went a day without accidents.  We also made a big deal out of each success with hugs, high-fives, and praises. 

Ditch the diapers...and the pull-ups!  Pull-ups today are simply modified diapers.  It's difficult for a child to feel wet in pull-ups because they're typically made to pull moisture away from the body.  My son needed the feedback of feeling wet in order to learn when it was time to use the potty.

Get them involved!  From the type of potty to the character on their underwear, it's important for toddlers to be a part of the entire process.  I once told my son that if we were going to buy him underwear, he couldn't pee on Buzz (Lighyear that is). 

When in Doubt, Bribe!  I have been known to use Gummy Bears as an incentive to use the potty.  I also let my son pick out a sticker or treat when he's successful.  Every single time.  They call that positive reinforcement! 


Expect and learn from accidents!  I remember one particular day when my son was struggling and had 3 messy accidents within the period of an hour.  Instead of fussing at him, I thought about the happenings of the day and realized I was not doing my part to remind him.  While accidents are a pain, they will decrease in number if you're both committed to the process.

By guest blogger, Caryn Bailey RockinMama

As we approached the middle of my son's second year of life, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Where were those terrible twos that the moms at playgroup warned me about?  My happy, healthy 2 1/2 year old son was mastering the fine art of pretend play and belting his ABC's as his third birthday approached.  

My husband and I thought we had soared through those not so terrible twos when it started.  First it was emphatic NO's when it was time to eat, go to sleep or clean up toys.  Then the hitting and spitting (at us, of course)...and the full blown tantrums on the floor of the grocery store.  No one told me that three is actually the more difficult age.  At two, children are expanding their vocabulary and mastering their motor skills.  At three, they're yearning for independence and exploring their world.  At three, my son understands emotions like happiness, sadness, and anger.  He just doesn't always know how or when to express them.  

When it comes to discipline, we believe that love and guidance do much more to provide boundaries and correct behavior than our hands.  But each child and each situation is different.  So what do we do when our children are acting less than perfect? 

1. Assess the situation

Hungry, tired, bored children are less able to control their behavior.  In many cases, meeting my son's most basic needs is the key to a happy, singing, babbling toddler.

I like to keep a stash of snacks, crayons, and paper in my purse/diaper bag and the car for those emergent situations where my toddler is starting to "melt down."  I also try to schedule down time and avoid going to places like the grocery store during nap time.  

2. Redirect the behavior.

Some time ago, I was out running errands with both kids.  I scheduled way too many stops and they were starting to grow bored, tired, and hungry.  In order to appease my son, who was trying to climb out of the shopping car, I told him he could have a toy if I could just finish my errands.  A few days passed and we had to make a trip to the grocery store.  I made the mistake of telling my son that I had to run errands.  Without missing a beat, my son exclaimed..."I get a toy when we do errands."  

I quickly had to explain to him that while he did get a toy last time we ran errands, he would not get a toy every time.  This resulted in a tantrum (fortunately he wasn't on the floor).  Instead of arguing with him, I simply started talking about something else.  I don't remember what...maybe we sang a song...or talked about our plans for the day.  Soon enough he forgot about that toy and I had my happy toddler back.  

While this won't work in every situation (particularly when a child is doing something harmful or dangerous) and I've found that redirection can go a long way towards helping to avert tantrums and meltdowns.  

3. Take a time out...for yourself.

When my son is acting out of character, my first instinct is to react with the tone of my voice and my words.  Raising my voice reinforces the fact that my son's behavior is getting my attention and teaches him that this is how we should react to behaviors and situations we don't like.  Lately, I've been pausing just a moment before reacting.  In many instances, I'll sit down with my son and speak to him calmly after I've taken a moment to evaluate the situation.  

If we're home, I'll remove him from the situation causing the behavior change and sit with him in time out.  We'll talk about why he threw his dinner on the floor or tried to throw a toy at his sister.  Sometimes we have to put away a toy or go to bed without sorbet.  Just taking a few minutes to step back and pause before reacting helps set boundaries and has a calming effect on the situation.

4. Reward positive behavior

I'm quick to sit my son in time out or take away a privilege when he's not behaving the way I expect him to.  But what about the times when he sings to his sister to ease her crying or picks up his toys (with a little gentle encouragement)?  Yes...those are all things I would expect of my child.  But it's important to praise children when they are behaving well, in order for them to continue to enact those behaviors.  

5.  Be consistent

My expectations for how my son behaves are consistent, regardless of whether we're relaxing at home or playing at the park.  The same is true of discipline.  If I let my son get away with something because we're out and I don't want to make a scene, I confuse him.  Very often I'll remove him from the situation and then discipline (with love).  This teaches him that my expectations of how he should behave don't change.  

Seeing that we've just recently entered into this stage, I'm certain there is a lot of learning still to take place on both of our parts. 

By guest blogger, Caryn Bailey RockinMama.net