Hey Moms!

It’s that time of year. You know what I’m talking about. The time when you place undue amounts of stress on yourself, hoping the shutter speed will be fast enough to catch your cherub (with just the right amount of blush in the cheeks) so you can show him/her off to the world. You plan meticulously, call every photographer within a 56 mile radius, stay up for hours the night before, making sure the baby is sleeping and when his big day comes…… you will stress yourself sick in an effort to get THE PERFECT PICTURE.

*Sigh* Okay, pull up a chair and a cup of coffee and listen to your Good Enough Mother. There is no perfect. I know you’ve heard that before. You may have even SAID it before. Now I want you to believe it! The thing is the entire outing will be less stressful if you don’t make the stakes so high.  With that in mind, here are three quick tips:

• Start with a well-rested baby: You already know this to be true, yet time and again we think about everything but the well-rested baby. We’re worried that we’ll lose the deposit on the studio, she won’t have another slot for months or the cherub will never be as cute as he or she is right now. Stop. Those are artificial deadlines. So what, the holiday pictures go out in February (I’ve done that). If the baby is rested and smiling, that’s a small price to pay.

• A well-rested mommy helps too!: You probably don’t need me to tell you, but when you’re fatigued the world is one, hot, smelly-diaper of a mess. I am not kidding! If you want an accurate idea of what the picture will look like, you’ve got to be able to see through more than blood shot eyes. Remember when everyone said, “Make sure you nap when the baby naps?” Do that!  Even if baby doesn't smile on cue, it will all be okay, because you’ll have your wits about you.

• There's no such thing as perfect:  You’ve heard that before? Well, allow me to reiterate it. Perfection only occurs in fairytales, where people have babies and are back in their straight-leg, size zero jeans in three weeks. This is real life; welcome to it. That means cranky babies, pimples on picture day or maybe both. So you have to punt. Yes, the photo may not be ideal, but when you look at it in its perfect frame you’ll remember what a great time you had when you relaxed and just let it be.  You can’t control bad weather or baby acne, and pretending that you can will only cause more stress for you and baby (then see what kind of photo that gets you).

My kids are a little bit older now, but ask me how many perfect photos I got when they were babies. Yep. Zero. But the memories I have of each one? Those are just right.

What’s your secret plan? How will you attempt to get a decent baby picture this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

I heart Target. Doesn’t everyone? It’s such a beautiful, peaceful place, filled with aisle after aisle of ways to fuel my nasty shopping addiction. For me, Target is retail therapy at its best. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good old fashioned mall trip when I’m feeling the blues, but the mall is filled with things that don’t fit my post-two-baby-body, and that I can’t afford. Yes, I love to shop at Target. The only issue I have with the place is their lack of daycare. I mean really, wouldn’t that be a goldmine? Until that day arrives, I’m forced to enter my favorite place in the world with two whiney toddlers in tow. Ugh. My boys are, for the most part, well-behaved. But any well-behaved child can grow a couple horns and a tail when they are forced to be buckled into a cart and simply look at all the things they want to get their hands (and mouths) on. I think I would despise the place too. The trick to avoiding this fate is to make it an enjoyable experience for all.

• Give in to popcorn - It may seem over-indulgent to buy your kids a snack just so you can go shopping, but I’m here to tell you I’m not above it. You have to ask yourself which is worse: not being able to shop without a snack in your child’s hand, or have your children continually rebel against shopping trips. I made my choice. If you are shopping at Target or other superstore, you can easily find coupons on their website or even via smart phone which make popcorn and other snacks dirt cheap, so you don’t have to feel guilty about spending the money. It only took me one instance of my son dropping a half bag of popcorn ALL OVER the aisle for me to start bringing little bowls with handles. Now when they drop it, I can manage the clean-up by myself. And don’t forget drinks/sippy cups, it doesn’t make sense to pay for drinks too.
• Better yet, eat lunch there - A lot of grocery stores in our area have great food options, even if they are a bit pricey. Target’s food is affordable and many Walmarts have McDonalds or Subways. The trip becomes more like a fun event, rather than a chore. Once properly fed your child will be a lot less likely to melt down. Just make sure it isn’t near naptime!
• Do the work at home! - Don’t wander the aisles aimlessly trying to think of something else you need. Check the circulars from your Sunday paper, or online, so you already know what is on sale. Keep a good list, then stick to it while at the store. It keeps the cost down as well! Save browsing for times when you can escape your house without the kids.
• If you are an extreme couponer- wear a backpack - You will look silly, but it makes getting in and out of the store that much easier. You can also tote anything your kid will need as well.
• Bring a friend - Who says playdates have to be at a park, your home or even the mall?  Meet for lunch, then get some shopping done while catching up and letting your kids interact from cart to cart. You might get a little more talking done than shopping, but at least you can check the essentials off your list.
• Let them help - If your child is older, let them help with a few things on the list.

By guest blogger Joanna from the Bragging Mommy

I was raised a picky eater. When I was younger, I would hide peas and milk in my cheeks and visit the restroom only to spit it all out in the toilet. I never really liked many vegetables, so I am not surprised that my children are not huge vegetable eaters either. So, how do we, as parents, handle picky eaters? Here are some ways to tame that picky side:

Do not offer sugary foods (or foods he/she is prone to only eat). I know my son won't eat his sandwich, if I offer a side such as chips with the sandwich.

Keep distractions to a minimum. If there are other children running around or the television is on, for a few examples, children will not focus on eating.

Hide food/nutrients in other foods you make. One of my secrets is to hide veggies in their meatloaf. The children have no idea it is in there and gobble up the meatloaf.

Make it fun. Turn sandwiches into shapes by using cookie cutters, dip veggies in butter or a sauce your child likes, or put food coloring in certain foods like mashed potatoes.

Lead by example. Your child is going to eat what you eat. If you never eat healthy foods, such as veggies, your child won't either.

Do not be a short order cook. Offer your child one option and stick with it. Keep trying by offering these foods to your children and eventually he/she will come around.

Don't use bribery. Your child will learn that they need to reject these foods in order to gain something out of the experience.

If you are concerned with your child's health due to lack of eating certain foods, or eating too many bad foods, consult their physician. Taking small steps to change their habits is definitely taking the correct approach to tackling your picky eater.

By Guest Blogger from Mommies With Cents

Oh Television... Quite possibly the largest love/hate relationship I’ve ever had. It’s so difficult to resist the small black box that one simple push of a button can easily silence the whiniest of toddlers. What would we do without it? When I had my second baby my oldest was only one, and I used to say Baby Einstein was my only sanity. But, how much is too much? And, how do you make sure your children aren’t being overloaded by the tube?

The biggest “no-no” I try to avoid is just letting Nick Jr. run all morning. Except for illness, or one of those plain no-good-very-bad-days, our TV never just stays on a channel. I mean, is DVR not the worlds greatest invention? DVR gives you your child’s favorite TV shows at any given time, which allows you the 30 minutes of peace and quiet you were so desperate for. When that blue “delete or keep” screen pops up (followed by “Uh-oh, uh-oh Mommy”) you have two choices – turn the TV off, or choose Chuggington this time. Do I always turn the TV off the first go-around? No. But, you are forced to make a decision that gives you a level of consciousness on the total TV time you’ve had so far. How many episodes of Blue’s Clues have we watched? At least 1 too many... It’s easy to do this with DVD’s, or Netflix live stream as well. Give yourself a goal- Ok, today is a 2 show day. Or today I’m only going to let my kids watch 1 show, and stick to it. Even better, try having a no TV day. I’ve only actually accomplished this test a handful of times (when I do it, I make it a “No TV or computer day”), but each time I have, I finish the day feeling very accomplished and even better.  I feel closer to my children. It’s amazing all the quality play time you can have together when you can’t lean on something else to “babysit” your kids. It will help show you just how wonderful life can be “unplugged.”

Think about what time of day you seem to always have the TV on- is it in the morning because you can’t function until 2 cups of coffee have been consumed? Or is it during dinner prep, when your kids are at their whiniest? Try making a plan to avoid having the TV on. Keep some toys separated that you pull out only at those times. Prepare an art project to keep your kids entertained while you cook dinner. Being prepared and using “backwards planning,” as my husband calls it, can make a world of difference and can keep you from popping in a movie out of desperation. The best thing I can do to avoid my kids watching too much TV is to stay busy. I know when we’re always on the go, my boys are being properly stimulated, getting fresh air, and exploring their world. If we’re in the house all day, chances are they’ll end up spending too much time just sitting and staring. Plus, as a bonus, when we get home my boys are always so happy to play with their toys they’ve missed all day, they stay entertained and happy.

The television definitely has it’s time and place in our homes- don’t let the mommy guilt get you. TV helps me recharge my batteries when they are low, and my children definitely benefit from that. The trick is just to keep if from taking over your life. With a little moderation, life stays in a balance and everyone stays happy!

By Guest Blogger Joanna at The Bragging Mommy

I remember it like it was yesterday. Feeling like I was going to pass out as I was teaching a class full of five year olds. Wondering what in the world was going on with me and why I was feeling so “out of it”. Then finally putting two and two together, waiting five minutes to look at the stick, seeing the plus sign, CELEBRATION (and a little bit of fear along with it.) The next nine months were like a tornado full of doctors appointments, baby clothes, shopping, decorating and redecorating and baby showers. All the preparation, making sure we had EVERYTHING we would need the day we brought home our sweet baby, wrapped in a pink blanket. I was so ready for this new chapter of our lives, and just knew exactly how it was going to be!

Oh, how quickly I discovered that the picture in my head and everything I had thought it would be like to be a mommy and weave this little baby into our lives wasn’t wrong, but definitely was harder than I had anticipated. If there was any way I could somehow transport back to my pre-mama self and whisper a few things in her ear, I would definitely have some major insights!
 
whisper: "That wee little baby we are bringing home doesn't need all the "stuff" we collected for her over the 9 months we waited so impatiently for her arrival."

As soon as I found out we were expecting I started researching baby gear and furniture, everything had to be brand new and top of the line. My girl had to have the best of the best and she needed it all. I was so blessed with amazing baby showers and my newborn daughter had more newborn size dresses than Cinderella's closet (post glass slipper). Guess how many she wore. One. I just knew she would be wearing her special dresses every day. I was so wrong. Much to my mother's disappointment we were onesies and swaddle blankets all the way. She grew so quickly and before I knew it she was in 3 month clothes and most of those beautiful dresses ended up being donated or passed on to friends. Initially, newborns don't need very much, they want to be kept safe, full, warm, dry, and given lots of love. So much of the rest is just noise.

whisper: "You will never stop worrying."

I am by nature a worry wart; I worry about worrying. It's that bad. Throughout my pregnancy I worried about anything and everything. All I could think about was getting to that due date and holding my daughter in my arms, I thought that would be the big finish line. Then she would be here and everything would be perfect. Little did I know, that first night as my daughter dreamed sweetly on my chest, all I could do was worry about her. Worry about everything from is she getting enough to eat, my fear of SIDS, even worrying about when she goes to school and what if she is picked on, or what if she dates a boy that doesn't treat her the way she should be treated...the list just goes on and on. To this day I can not go to sleep without checking on both of my children (several times), squinting my eyes in the dark looking for that chest rising and falling. Worry, worry, worry...it will never go away.

whisper: “Time will slip away too quickly…enjoy every moment. Breathe them in because they are always changing and in the blink of an eye, off to preschool they go.”

I wish I could go back and freeze so many moments in time, especially those newborn moments. That stage is so unbelievably sweet and slips away all too quickly. Nights when I sat in the dark of the living room nursing my baby every two to three hours, in a sleepy haze. So many moments gone too quickly and not fully appreciated. Parenthood can be exhausting, but really, you will never get these moments back. Enjoy them. Love them. Remember them. Treasure them.

whisper: “Your child is their own person. As much as you want to make them what you want them to be, it is not going to happen.”

I have really had to come to this realization recently with my daughter, Ava. She is almost four and is just her own girl living in her own world. I have all these dreams and wishes for her, visions in my mind of things I hope she loves and accomplishes. Many of them things I loved and accomplished or wish I had accomplished. I find myself wishing her to be like me, and she is the polar opposite of everything I was when I was small. As she is growing up a bit, headed to pre-school this fall, I have had to face the reality that just because I want her to love something or do something or act a certain way doesn’t mean she will. I will love and support her because she is her own amazing little person, and she will grow and fall in love with her own dreams.

whisper: "Every day you are going to be faced with a new challenge."

Never in a million years did I ever think being a parent would be this challenging. I knew it wasn't always going to be easy, but every day I feel like my children are throwing something new at me. Just a few examples for you: When they were infants it was figuring out how to get them to sleep for more than an hour or two straight. What in the world could we wrap them in or lay them on or what music could we play to get them to stay asleep? As they hit the toddler stage it becomes all about safety. You childproof your cabinets and within days your one year old is prying them open. Toddlers are quick and into or climbing onto everything. Then you hit two and learn that there is just no way to reason with a two year old! How do you get them to eat their veggies when grama keeps bringing over m&m’s and that is all they want! How to get them in their own bed and how to get them to stay in their own bed. And as we are headed to four with our oldest we have already been presented with so many challenges.  Any time we figure out an answer or solution, we feel like super man and wonder woman! It feels so good to know that we have solved another puzzle or figured out some mystery and are making things work for our family and our children.

whisper: "You are going to find out what love really is when you hold this child in your arms."

By guest blogger from Real Moms Real Views

Gearing up for summer travel has got me thinking. I’m thinking about sleeping.

Tiny babies: Believe me, anyone who weighs less than 15 lbs does not require a real bed. Newborns can sleep in their bucket-style infant car seats overnight. (Or not sleep, as the case may be.) I also like to give a little dose of infant massage right before bed in a strange place to really knock the baby out.

Big babies and toddlers: I love the pack 'n play style travel cribs. If driving, go ahead and shove it in the trunk. If flying, borrow or rent one at your destination. Bring familiar security objects and sheets from home to make the bed on the road smell and feel more like home. We also travel with a white noise machine to cover those mysterious travel noises.
 
Big toddlers and preschoolers: Let the fun begin! If we’re traveling to friends’ homes, we can often use a sleeping bag on a rug. But if we’re in a hotel (with questionably clean carpet), I like to build a “nest” out of sheets, blankets, and towels. Its fun for the kids to sleep in a special nest too. Win-win. We also travel with our favorite flashlights and nightlights to ease those midnight runs to the potty.

Have you invented any creative sleep places for your kids while traveling? Anything that absolutely didn’t work?

- By Guest Blogger Heather from Rookie Moms

Are We There Yet? Are We There Yet? Are We There Yet? Traveling with kids can make even the sanest of parents feel like they are quickly going bananas. I even find myself leaning over to my husband and asking him, “Are we there yet?”

The trick to traveling with children is to be prepared. Know what your kids are interested in and make sure you bring activities that will keep their attention and are age appropriate. My children are both toddlers so I’m going to focus on what to do for toddlers.

My last trip I was actually over prepared for and I recommend you do the same. You never know when you’re going to get stuck somewhere unexpected overnight and that’s just what happened to us. Luckily, I had plenty of activities and snacks on us. Here are a few suggestions on how to be prepared.

• Let the kids pick out a backpack with wheels. Having wheels on it allows them to be able to pull it or wear it, depending on what they feel like. Pick out coloring books, lacing toys, crayons, markers, travel puzzles and put them in the back packs. Have lots of different short activities they can do in their laps. Let them pick out some toys as well and have them add them to the bags. Giving your children choices and letting them help in the packing process makes them feel important and valuable. I’ve found that giving them the choice also makes them a lot more persuadable. 
• Choose healthy snacks that make little to no mess, dried fruit, freeze dried fruit, drinkable applesauce, crisps and crackers to name a few. Keep an extra bag in your purse so you can collect the garbage. Grab some reusable drink containers and put them in their bags as well. We drink a lot of water and the kids like to be able to get it out of their own bags.
• I keep snacks, napkins, and baby wipes in my bag along with an extra set of clothes, diapers and pull ups. Even if you have a potty trained child, you might consider putting them in a pull up during a long flight. We did this with Zoe, turned out we made it without any accidents but I know if I had not been so prepared, we would have been wet.
• One last tip would be to bring something very familiar to them. We brought special pillow cases with us on our last trip. That way, no matter where we ended up sleeping it still felt a little like home to them. The pillow cases helped make a huge difference from one trip to another.

By Guest Blogger Louise from MomStart

I have always had a slight heart attack when my kids got anywhere close to the kitchen while I was cooking.  I was so worried that they would get cut, burnt, or flattened by pots and pans.  As my oldest starts to get more curious, I see my kitchen as less of a danger zone.
 
He just turned 3 a few months ago and is a picky eater.  He would eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal if I let him.  Unfortunately for him, I'm the type of mom that cooks one meal and if you don't eat it, then you don't eat at all.  I recently noticed that he gets excited to eat whatever I'm cooking as long as he's had a hand in making it.
 
I still make sure to keep him away from the stove, but he helps me get the ingredients ready.  No matter what I'm making, I can find some way for him to get excited about helping.  Usually it is simple things like stirring or pouring ingredients into bowls from the measuring cups, but he can't wait to tell everyone we know that he helped make the meal.
 
He never used to eat chicken and dumplings, but last week I had him help me roll the dough in flour and he thought that was the best job ever.  He even had to call my mom to tell her that he was helping.  I was more than excited when he ate every bite on his plate that night.
 
It might be more time consuming and messy, but having my "little helper" in the kitchen is worth it.  We're having fun bonding time and he's finally eating more than PB&J.  Seeing him beam with pride makes me want to bake all day.

By Guest Blogger Dee from Two of a Kind Working on a Full House

Since my extended family lives so far away, the holidays always mean we get to spend a full travel day on either side of a visit. Speaking of lessons learned the hard way, I have had my fair share of air travel experiences and would like to impart my wisdom with you so that you can make all of your own mistakes!

Always bring enough diapers. During a flight, conventional wisdom might tell you to be spare in your packing or that your child only uses four diapers in a normal day. Well, flying days are not normal days. I suggest you pack one diaper per hour of travel time. Better safe than sorry. Trust me.

Pack the right toys. You want to have enough activities and toys to entertain your children but not so many that you bring a separate suitcase.  Multi-use toys are good. Games without pieces (like I spy or “what’s that in the SkyMall catalog”) are awesome. Toys that look like a bomb-making kit (play doh and some bendy wires for instance) are bad. See Debbie at DeliciousBaby and her fantastic travel toy ideas to spur your thinking.

Expect the unexpected. What’s unexpected? Earaches, teething, and crankiness in your otherwise-healthy child (so pack baby pain relief); pee accidents or spills from your potty-trained four year old (so pack pull-ups and jammie bottoms as back-ups); reading a magazine or napping for you (sorry, can’t help ya!)

Bribe the people sitting around you. Dole out apologies and free drinks in advance.

By realigning your expectations that the travel day is a means to an end -- an adventure to endure -- you are more likely to be pleased when there are only 3 crying fits and one missed nap rather than stressed-out.

By Heather from rookiemoms.com

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Heather and Whitney blog frequently at rookiemoms.com (always more fun than wiping someone’s tushy!) and 510families.com (more fun with kids in the East Bay). They love taking trips and eating dark chocolate.

I've slept on Amsterdam-bound trains and churches turned hostel...Snorkeled with sharks in the South Pacific and hiked through the Caribbean rainforest.  But traveling with kids is a feat that deserves an entire handbook.  Having family in the Southeast means that at least once a year, my husband and I spend one of the holidays on an eastward bound plane with two kids in tow. And while no trip is the same, we've found that several small things can be done to ease the stress of travel and make the trip enjoyable. 

1.  Lighten Up. 
I'm the queen of overpacking.  After going back and forth about the necessity of an infant car seat...for a lap child...on a trip to New York City (think subways and taxis), my husband finally gave in.  After gate checking the car seat on a completely full flight, that car seat sat in our hotel room until we checked out and ended up back underneath the plane for the flight home.   This is the one and only instance where my husband was actually right about something.

Unless you're traveling to a remote destination, avoid packing the items you wouldn't likely need or use on a trip.  You can always purchase those "just in case" items if you end up requiring them and you're less likely to lose something important. Remember that there are only two of you trying to keep up with luggage and children.   If you're traveling with small children also, consider renting car seats, strollers, and portable cribs.  

2. Think ahead. 
At least half of the instances where my children are misbehaving can be attributed to hunger or fatigue.  Since traveling can disrupt meal and sleep schedules, build in rest and downtimes.  Anticipate your child's needs by packing snacks and toys/activities, winding down before fatigue sets in, and planning activities around your child (rather than the other way around). 

3.  Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Kids stayed up too late? Ate dessert  before dinner? Missed naps all week?  Tore a hole through nice pants?  Lost a shoe?  Don't allow the "little things" to ruin a trip that you've planned and looked forward to all year.  Be flexible, gracious, and patient. Laugh and make lemonade out of lemons. Vacations don't come around again soon enough so make the most of your time together as a family and realize the memories that even small annoyances can bring.

4. Less is more. 

I've done the go-go-go until I'm ready to drop at midnight in the hotel.  I made that mistake recently on our last day in New York.  Resist the urge to see and do it all.  Make a plan with a list of the sights and activities you'd like to accomplish and focus your energy on those.  If you plan one or two activities a day, you'll be more relaxed and feel less time constraints to be somewhere else.  Planning less gives you the freedom to linger, take photographs, stop and smell the flowers, and enjoy an ice cream.

5. Time it right.

I'm notoriously late for everything.  While that may work with preschool or play dates, planes and tours won't wait.  We typically build in an extra 30 minutes to account for last minute diaper changes, forgotten sippy cups, and unexpected mishaps.  In my experience, traveling with children, even if it's a simple trip to the grocery store, takes longer than expected.  If you anticipate needing that extra time, you'll avoid missing that last ride on the Ferris Wheel.

6. Keep them busy. 
Restless, bored children begin to misbehave by engaging in attention-seeking behaviors.  I like to pack a bag full of entertainment for those times when we're waiting in line, stuck on an airplane, or preparing for the day. An unhappy toddler adds extra stress to an already difficult travel day.

7.  Relax and have fun.
You want to remember your vacation fondly and come away feeling rejuvenated.  Laugh often, avoid complaining, and remain positive as much as possible. With a little planning and flexibility, you'll be making life-long memories.

By guest blogger, Caryn, Rockinmama.net, @rockinmama