How to Find Mommy and Daddy Time

Jun 30, 2011

Mommy.  Daddy.  Daddy.  Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy.  Daddy.  Does this sound familiar?  I have 3 children aged 4, 2 and 1.  These sounds are pretty familiar in our household.  Alone time with my husband is hard to come by, but I have always had the philosophy after my husband and I married almost 8 years ago that we would always make time for ourselves.  After having so many young kids, we have to get creative sometimes.  It can take a lot of effort, but we think it's best to always stay connected and not be lost in our children.  So, how do we do it?

The obvious answer is to hire a babysitter.  Since we are fairly new to the area, we do not know many people, so this is not always possible.  It can also get pretty expensive! 

Since I am pretty cheap when it comes to this, I always try to enlist the help of my family and friends.  With us, this can also be a challenge since our friends are all having children and our families live 2 hours away in different directions.

Since our friends are all having children, trade babysitting.  One night watch your friends' children and then another night they can watch yours.  This works out great because no money is spent and everyone gets to enjoy their evenings!

Set aside a few hours after the kids go to bed and stick with it.  The time spent may even have to be on the weekend while the kids nap.  Snuggle while watching a movie, take a walk or just sit outside together.  Wake up early and have breakfast together without having to feed the baby, or scrambling around to get the kids ready for school.

No matter what, make sure you spend alone time together each week.  The time spent will open communication and you will be able to enjoy each other without wiping noses, talking over screaming or picking up toys.

 

By Guest Blogger from Mommies with Cents

Making Time for Date Night

Feb 10, 2011

I can count on one hand the number of times my husband and I have had a date night sans children in the past three years. In the midst of sleep training, diapers, and meltdowns, it's too easy for the weeks and months to go by without some alone time as a couple.  But like any relationship, tim

e and communication are vital for growth and renewal.  Here is some inspiration for securing regular date nights:

Make a schedule and stick to it. While I realize how unromantic it seems, we'd likely never have a date night if it wasn't on the calendar.  Scheduling date nights ensures we have child care and allows us to make reservations, pre-order show tickets, or any other prep necessary to make the most of our night.  Blocking those nights off also gives us something to look forward to and ensures that this time together does not take a back seat when life gets busy.

Make a trade with another couple.  For some families, the cost of child care prohibits regular date nights.  Offer to take turns babysitting for another couple so that each of you can enjoy a night out together every other month.  Not only will you save money, you'll develop and deepen a friendship with another family.

Make it a night in.  If finding child care is simply too difficult or expensive, commit to regular date nights while the kids are sleeping.  Regularly pencil in a date to spend time with your spouse.  Whether it's playing board games, watching a movie, cooking a special dinner, or simply engaging in a long conversation, these moments to reconnect will do wonders for your relationship.

Make it memorable.  And by memorable, I don't mean expensive. This is your opportunity to reconnect as a couple, so decide together how you will spend your time away from your kids.  Some of our best date nights didn't involve lavish dinners or swanky hotels but rather conversations into the early m

orning or snuggling with hot chocolate and a movie at home. Take a long walk, explore a new museum, work on a project together...the possibilities are endless.

Make your spouse the priority.  I'm guilty of stealing every moment I'm away from my kids to catch up on housework, errands and life. Be sure to preserve this time of togetherness by committing to focus this time on your spouse.  Before your scheduled time away, talk about how you'll deal with distractions that threaten to get in the way of your time together.

Date nights are like fuel for your relationship.  Regular time together will improve your relationship with each other and your relationship with your children.  This commitment to each other also sets an example for your children as they begin to learn about relationships.

By guest blogger, Caryn Baily, Rockinmama