Holy cow, did I just see my future teenager flash before my eyes? What am I doing wrong? Why won't my toddler listen to me? I hope your toddler isn’t anything like the majority I've dealt with --the hitting, the biting, the no's, and the full blown tantrum that makes everyone else around you stop and stare.

We've been through it, so welcome to the club! There are a few ways you can effectively discipline your toddler.

1. Give choices: We know your little control freak wants to do everything themselves so give them a choice and limit the choices. Ask your toddler things like, "Which cup would you like?" or, "The dinosaur pajamas or the cars?" Letting your toddler have some say gives them a sense of accomplishment and allows you to work together so you avoid any tantrums from the start.

2. Pick your battle: Toddlers are going to do a lot of things, hitting the family pet may or may not be worth the time-out. Let's put it simply; don't sweat the small stuff.

3. Time-ins: I have found with babies under two, they simply cannot understand a time-out yet. So instead of trying the time-out try comforting your child. Hold them, be quiet and give them some love-ins.  Let them know what they did wrong though. This helps especially when out in public.

4. Distraction: Much like a dog with a bone, toddlers are easily distracted. It's not hard to come up with some distraction before they blow.

5. Don't set yourself up to fail: Take it from me, I've learned the hard way. Grocery shopping with a tired or hungry toddler is brutal. Plan around naptimes and lunch; don't set yourself up to fail.

6. Toddler Talk: Listen to your toddler and show them that she/he has a voice. If "Brooklin mad" or "Brooklin sad," I repeat it back so she knows she is heard. Toddlers want to be heard and seen.

7. Stop the No-No's: Your toddler learned that lovely word from you so just as much as you dislike hearing it, so does your toddler. You couldn't help but screech, “NO.” when your toddler dumped his juice on your new rug, or as he happily splashes in the toilet, but you can use other words. Try replacing “no” with "sure, after you..." or "I'd love to, but let’s do...." Getting your toddler involved and making her think it's her idea is one of the best ways to effectively work together.

8. Be consistent: We won't rat you out for your Lifetime movie marathon, but if your toddler wants to watch TV for hours and you say one show, you better be firm. Soon it'll be commonplace.

9. Keep it short and sweet: Oh look, there's a birdie! Your toddler doesn't have such of an attention span. They're not teenagers who need things explained to them all the time. Keep discipline short and sweet.

10. Let them see who's boss: If your toddler won't behave at a birthday party, or decides to chuck their snack in the store, he doesn’t get another one, or he leaves the party. You tell them once with a warning and if not heeded, follow through. Every time.

Always, always, always reward good behavior, and remember that toddlers are going to test you. The next time you're in the check out line and your toddler wants out of the cart knowing they're going to trash the place, just know.....you may never see these people again.

By Guest Blogger Kristin from Our Ordinary Life

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Imitation is the biggest form of flattery.”  Well, it’s not so flattering when you're two year old "imitates" that bad word you just said.  Even when you think they aren't watching or listening, your kids pick up on everything that is being said or done.  The earlier you learn this, the better.

We've unfortunately slipped a few times and said words that we would not like Evan to repeat.  Of course, he decided to repeat those words and used them in a sentence perfectly.    We then had to explain to him that those words are very ugly and Mommy and Daddy shouldn't say them anymore.
 
I'm sure anyone with a toddler or preschool-aged child can provide multiple stories of the things that their child said or did as a result of learning from mommy or daddy.  We all learn a little too late that we are our child's biggest teacher and we need to show them how to act.
 
Always think about how you would feel if your child repeated something you did or said before acting.  Try to display all of the positive values that you want them to learn such as generosity and forgiveness.  When you do slip, be sure to let them know that you were wrong and made a mistake.  Our kids won't turn out perfectly, but the best way to teach them is to lead by example.

From guest blogger, Dee, Two of a Kind

My son is practically an angel, from what I know about 6-year old boys.  He likes to draw, do art projects, and play the guitar. He has no interest in superheroes, martial arts, or baseball.  He has won eight awards for good behavior in as many weeks of school.
 
He is a chronic sign-maker who makes labels for everything in the house. Give him a stack of printer paper and a pen and he’ll produce signs until the well runs dry. He is allowed to tape them to specific walls in the house.

“JULIAN’S STUFF FROM STEP ONE” reads the sign next to his preschool artwork. “SCARLETT’S STUFF FOR JULIAN” is the heading above a column of artwork his sister has dedicated to him. “EVRYONE STUFF” says a sign taped to my living room wall. Apparently I am supposed to be taping my own artwork there.

If you’ve guessed that I can mill about the house, doing my own thing while he draws at the dining table, you’d be making the same mistake that I continue to make.

Yesterday I pulled out a box of Halloween paraphernalia for both of my kids to explore. Julian set to work, using transparent tape to plaster my house with pumpkin cutouts. He helped himself to a Tupperware container that he placed on a stool, filled it with small trinkets like plastic spiders.

Since my busy little independent beaver seemed content, I turned my focus to our 3-year old, helping her open packages of Halloween stickers that went unused last year.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Julian was holding paper up to the wall and writing on it. WITH A SHARPIE.

“TAKE ONE” read the invitation, with an arrow pointing down to the container of spiders.

Please God, let that be a stack of paper he is writing on and not a single sheet.

No such luck.

The bleed-through of the marker was minimal, but my lesson is learned:  quiet independent play can be the most dangerous kind.

By guest blogger Whitney Moss from Rookiemoms.com