Holy cow, did I just see my future teenager flash before my eyes? What am I doing wrong? Why won't my toddler listen to me? I hope your toddler isn’t anything like the majority I've dealt with --the hitting, the biting, the no's, and the full blown tantrum that makes everyone else around you stop and stare.

We've been through it, so welcome to the club! There are a few ways you can effectively discipline your toddler.

1. Give choices: We know your little control freak wants to do everything themselves so give them a choice and limit the choices. Ask your toddler things like, "Which cup would you like?" or, "The dinosaur pajamas or the cars?" Letting your toddler have some say gives them a sense of accomplishment and allows you to work together so you avoid any tantrums from the start.

2. Pick your battle: Toddlers are going to do a lot of things, hitting the family pet may or may not be worth the time-out. Let's put it simply; don't sweat the small stuff.

3. Time-ins: I have found with babies under two, they simply cannot understand a time-out yet. So instead of trying the time-out try comforting your child. Hold them, be quiet and give them some love-ins.  Let them know what they did wrong though. This helps especially when out in public.

4. Distraction: Much like a dog with a bone, toddlers are easily distracted. It's not hard to come up with some distraction before they blow.

5. Don't set yourself up to fail: Take it from me, I've learned the hard way. Grocery shopping with a tired or hungry toddler is brutal. Plan around naptimes and lunch; don't set yourself up to fail.

6. Toddler Talk: Listen to your toddler and show them that she/he has a voice. If "Brooklin mad" or "Brooklin sad," I repeat it back so she knows she is heard. Toddlers want to be heard and seen.

7. Stop the No-No's: Your toddler learned that lovely word from you so just as much as you dislike hearing it, so does your toddler. You couldn't help but screech, “NO.” when your toddler dumped his juice on your new rug, or as he happily splashes in the toilet, but you can use other words. Try replacing “no” with "sure, after you..." or "I'd love to, but let’s do...." Getting your toddler involved and making her think it's her idea is one of the best ways to effectively work together.

8. Be consistent: We won't rat you out for your Lifetime movie marathon, but if your toddler wants to watch TV for hours and you say one show, you better be firm. Soon it'll be commonplace.

9. Keep it short and sweet: Oh look, there's a birdie! Your toddler doesn't have such of an attention span. They're not teenagers who need things explained to them all the time. Keep discipline short and sweet.

10. Let them see who's boss: If your toddler won't behave at a birthday party, or decides to chuck their snack in the store, he doesn’t get another one, or he leaves the party. You tell them once with a warning and if not heeded, follow through. Every time.

Always, always, always reward good behavior, and remember that toddlers are going to test you. The next time you're in the check out line and your toddler wants out of the cart knowing they're going to trash the place, just know.....you may never see these people again.

By Guest Blogger Kristin from Our Ordinary Life

For months my husband and I had conversations about the "right time" to add to our family.  My first excuse was that our little boy was still a baby and I wanted more time with him.  Subsequent excuses included financial freedom, career advancement and even a clean house.  Alas, the decision was made when one day, that little plus sign changed our lives once again.  The truth is, I was scared to add a second child to the mix.  I didn't grow up with siblings and I had no idea if my time management and organization skills could handle a second child.  Couple that with experienced mothers who'd advised me that adding a second child was more than twice the work, and I was convinced that if the decision had been left up to me, we may never have added to our family.  It's been one year, and I can honestly say that I've finally reached a point where the days when things go right far outnumber the days when they don't.  And I'll venture to say that my two sweet children have captured my heart so completely, that I may even think about adding a third to the mix.  So how did we manage to survive a year with an infant and a toddler while maintaining our sanity?

Get organized.  My experienced mom friends weren't exaggerating when they said that two is more than double the amount of work.  The closer the children are in age, the more difficult it will be...for a time.  Getting and staying organized will help alleviate the busyness of this time.  Whether it's maintaining an online calendar to keep track of schedules or simply starting a routine to pick up at the end of the night, organization decreases stress, frustration and chaos.  Setting goals for the day also helps to keep us organized and productive. 

Don't sweat the small stuff.  It wasn't until my daughter was born that I realized how much time and energy were wasted on things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of life.  A night of staying up too late, a rainy day spent indoors with the television, and a meal without veggies won't negatively affect a child's well-being.  I've slowly learned those things that are worth reacting to and those that are not.

Prioritize what's important.  It's amazing how time can fly or stand still from one moment to the next. When I look at my 3 1/2 year old son, I wonder how my sweet tiny baby became this spirited little boy.  At the same time, those days of sleeplessness, potty training, and tantrums seem like an eternity.  Because there is only one of me and a finite number of hours in the day, I've learned to focus on those things that are important in that moment. Whether it's putting aside the dishes to comfort my toddler or spending the day at the park instead of doing chores, I've learned to relinquish the guilt of failing to complete the little things that are relatively unimportant. 

Seek Support.  I can't count the number of tears I've shed out of fear, frustration, or discouragement.  It's in those moments when I feel like a failure that I need the support of my husband, my best friends, and my mom the most.  Elicit a few good friends or family members that you feel comfortable sharing, venting, and seeking support and advice from.  You can also join a local mom's club. 

Equip yourself with tools from the past.  In some ways, the second child is easier.  You know when to call the doctor and when you can treat your child at home.  You've developed your discipline style and have experience with sleep and potty training.  Make use of those experiences to guide your parenting, while recognizing that each child is unique and may need a varied approach. 

Take a break.  Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility.  It's ok to admit that you're emotionally and physically exhausted.  When I find my patience wearing thin or my mood becoming irritable, it's time to refuel.  My husband and I work together to give each other a little extra sleep, some alone time, or a night out with friends. 

Remember that it will get better. As I look back on the past year, I've seen a change...a growth and maturity in my son.  He's less of a baby and more like a child and his actions are reflective of that. 

By Guest Blogger Caryn from Rockin Mama

As we approached the middle of my son's second year of life, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Where were those terrible twos that the moms at playgroup warned me about?  My happy, healthy 2 1/2 year old son was mastering the fine art of pretend play and belting his ABC's as his third birthday approached.  

My husband and I thought we had soared through those not so terrible twos when it started.  First it was emphatic NO's when it was time to eat, go to sleep or clean up toys.  Then the hitting and spitting (at us, of course)...and the full blown tantrums on the floor of the grocery store.  No one told me that three is actually the more difficult age.  At two, children are expanding their vocabulary and mastering their motor skills.  At three, they're yearning for independence and exploring their world.  At three, my son understands emotions like happiness, sadness, and anger.  He just doesn't always know how or when to express them.  

When it comes to discipline, we believe that love and guidance do much more to provide boundaries and correct behavior than our hands.  But each child and each situation is different.  So what do we do when our children are acting less than perfect? 

1. Assess the situation

Hungry, tired, bored children are less able to control their behavior.  In many cases, meeting my son's most basic needs is the key to a happy, singing, babbling toddler.

I like to keep a stash of snacks, crayons, and paper in my purse/diaper bag and the car for those emergent situations where my toddler is starting to "melt down."  I also try to schedule down time and avoid going to places like the grocery store during nap time.  

2. Redirect the behavior.

Some time ago, I was out running errands with both kids.  I scheduled way too many stops and they were starting to grow bored, tired, and hungry.  In order to appease my son, who was trying to climb out of the shopping car, I told him he could have a toy if I could just finish my errands.  A few days passed and we had to make a trip to the grocery store.  I made the mistake of telling my son that I had to run errands.  Without missing a beat, my son exclaimed..."I get a toy when we do errands."  

I quickly had to explain to him that while he did get a toy last time we ran errands, he would not get a toy every time.  This resulted in a tantrum (fortunately he wasn't on the floor).  Instead of arguing with him, I simply started talking about something else.  I don't remember what...maybe we sang a song...or talked about our plans for the day.  Soon enough he forgot about that toy and I had my happy toddler back.  

While this won't work in every situation (particularly when a child is doing something harmful or dangerous) and I've found that redirection can go a long way towards helping to avert tantrums and meltdowns.  

3. Take a time out...for yourself.

When my son is acting out of character, my first instinct is to react with the tone of my voice and my words.  Raising my voice reinforces the fact that my son's behavior is getting my attention and teaches him that this is how we should react to behaviors and situations we don't like.  Lately, I've been pausing just a moment before reacting.  In many instances, I'll sit down with my son and speak to him calmly after I've taken a moment to evaluate the situation.  

If we're home, I'll remove him from the situation causing the behavior change and sit with him in time out.  We'll talk about why he threw his dinner on the floor or tried to throw a toy at his sister.  Sometimes we have to put away a toy or go to bed without sorbet.  Just taking a few minutes to step back and pause before reacting helps set boundaries and has a calming effect on the situation.

4. Reward positive behavior

I'm quick to sit my son in time out or take away a privilege when he's not behaving the way I expect him to.  But what about the times when he sings to his sister to ease her crying or picks up his toys (with a little gentle encouragement)?  Yes...those are all things I would expect of my child.  But it's important to praise children when they are behaving well, in order for them to continue to enact those behaviors.  

5.  Be consistent

My expectations for how my son behaves are consistent, regardless of whether we're relaxing at home or playing at the park.  The same is true of discipline.  If I let my son get away with something because we're out and I don't want to make a scene, I confuse him.  Very often I'll remove him from the situation and then discipline (with love).  This teaches him that my expectations of how he should behave don't change.  

Seeing that we've just recently entered into this stage, I'm certain there is a lot of learning still to take place on both of our parts. 

By guest blogger, Caryn Bailey RockinMama.net