Hey Moms!

It’s that time of year. You know what I’m talking about. The time when you place undue amounts of stress on yourself, hoping the shutter speed will be fast enough to catch your cherub (with just the right amount of blush in the cheeks) so you can show him/her off to the world. You plan meticulously, call every photographer within a 56 mile radius, stay up for hours the night before, making sure the baby is sleeping and when his big day comes…… you will stress yourself sick in an effort to get THE PERFECT PICTURE.

*Sigh* Okay, pull up a chair and a cup of coffee and listen to your Good Enough Mother. There is no perfect. I know you’ve heard that before. You may have even SAID it before. Now I want you to believe it! The thing is the entire outing will be less stressful if you don’t make the stakes so high.  With that in mind, here are three quick tips:

• Start with a well-rested baby: You already know this to be true, yet time and again we think about everything but the well-rested baby. We’re worried that we’ll lose the deposit on the studio, she won’t have another slot for months or the cherub will never be as cute as he or she is right now. Stop. Those are artificial deadlines. So what, the holiday pictures go out in February (I’ve done that). If the baby is rested and smiling, that’s a small price to pay.

• A well-rested mommy helps too!: You probably don’t need me to tell you, but when you’re fatigued the world is one, hot, smelly-diaper of a mess. I am not kidding! If you want an accurate idea of what the picture will look like, you’ve got to be able to see through more than blood shot eyes. Remember when everyone said, “Make sure you nap when the baby naps?” Do that!  Even if baby doesn't smile on cue, it will all be okay, because you’ll have your wits about you.

• There's no such thing as perfect:  You’ve heard that before? Well, allow me to reiterate it. Perfection only occurs in fairytales, where people have babies and are back in their straight-leg, size zero jeans in three weeks. This is real life; welcome to it. That means cranky babies, pimples on picture day or maybe both. So you have to punt. Yes, the photo may not be ideal, but when you look at it in its perfect frame you’ll remember what a great time you had when you relaxed and just let it be.  You can’t control bad weather or baby acne, and pretending that you can will only cause more stress for you and baby (then see what kind of photo that gets you).

My kids are a little bit older now, but ask me how many perfect photos I got when they were babies. Yep. Zero. But the memories I have of each one? Those are just right.

What’s your secret plan? How will you attempt to get a decent baby picture this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

You wouldn’t really blame me, would you, if I said I feared the holiday season? It’s not the idea of cooking (though that terrifies me) or the idea of company for more than three days (that terrifies me too). No, for the same reasons Pavolv’s dogs salivated at the sound of the bell, I have a conditioned response to the holidays and unfortunately it’s not a good one.

To be fair, I should say that I USED to fear this time of year. I’m getting over it. This time five years ago, I heard though the grapevine that I would be losing my high profile job. This happened as I was finalizing plans to have my mastectomy. Two years later, during the same time of year, I was hospitalized with a respiratory infection that resulted in my hair falling out. A year later, a job that I just KNEW was going to change my luck and give my family a firm financial footing, didn’t materialize. And on it went.

As I said, that’s all changing because I decided that instead of looking at what I didn’t have, what I had gone through and wondering why me, I was going to start looking at the stuff that was going right in my life. So here they are five things I am thankful for:

• My Family:  I know everyone says that, but I really mean it! I think of my family as a buffer against the storms of life.  I’ve got a great husband who’s been with me through this time of transition, both physical and occupational. I have these two great kids, who remind me daily that I am doing something right. It’s such a joy to watch them mature into young adults. Even better when they seem to now understand the basics of good hygiene! 
• My Health: I couldn’t say that a few years ago. Weak from my five-hour operation, it took the better part of a year for me to regain my strength after my mastectomy. I wasn’t sure I would ever be the same. It took time, but with diet and steady exercise I’m as strong as I used to be. Well, almost.
• My Hair: This was the biggest surprised of all. I have always had a love-hate relationship with my hair, mainly because I was trying to get it to do something it didn’t want to or wasn’t designed to do (sound familiar?). When my hair fell out I decided no more chemicals and I was going to accept it for what it was. That was pivotal in my reinvention because it was around that time I really started accepting ME for who I was. Plain ol’, imperfect, Good Enough Mother!
• My Home: I complain about the housework. I complain that I can’t close the refrigerator door because there’s too much stuff inside. I complain that I can hear the kids shouting from their rooms. But the reality is that the housework is done in the house that I own; the full refrigerator means no one will go hungry and the kid’s have their own rooms. Time to stop complaining.
• My Passion: I get tired and like everyone else, sometimes I want to give up. But I don’t. Why? Because I feel like, at this late age, I found my life’s work. I’m happy to share my health and hair stories as well as my parenting foibles if it makes women feel better about the job they are doing as wives and mothers. I want them to be okay with taking themselves off the bottom of the “to-do” list and to understand that by taking care of themselves, they truly ARE taking care of their families.
• So I’ll be counting my blessings as I peer over the dinner we could afford to buy and that my husband made (which is of course, one more thing to be thankful for). I’ll rejoice in the one hour ceasefire among the warring factions and marvel, like I do every year, at how grown my children are and how blessed I am to be a part of their lives. No one said this life would be easy but even in the struggle it is a beautiful thing.

What will you be thankful for this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

For months my husband and I had conversations about the "right time" to add to our family.  My first excuse was that our little boy was still a baby and I wanted more time with him.  Subsequent excuses included financial freedom, career advancement and even a clean house.  Alas, the decision was made when one day, that little plus sign changed our lives once again.  The truth is, I was scared to add a second child to the mix.  I didn't grow up with siblings and I had no idea if my time management and organization skills could handle a second child.  Couple that with experienced mothers who'd advised me that adding a second child was more than twice the work, and I was convinced that if the decision had been left up to me, we may never have added to our family.  It's been one year, and I can honestly say that I've finally reached a point where the days when things go right far outnumber the days when they don't.  And I'll venture to say that my two sweet children have captured my heart so completely, that I may even think about adding a third to the mix.  So how did we manage to survive a year with an infant and a toddler while maintaining our sanity?

Get organized.  My experienced mom friends weren't exaggerating when they said that two is more than double the amount of work.  The closer the children are in age, the more difficult it will be...for a time.  Getting and staying organized will help alleviate the busyness of this time.  Whether it's maintaining an online calendar to keep track of schedules or simply starting a routine to pick up at the end of the night, organization decreases stress, frustration and chaos.  Setting goals for the day also helps to keep us organized and productive. 

Don't sweat the small stuff.  It wasn't until my daughter was born that I realized how much time and energy were wasted on things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of life.  A night of staying up too late, a rainy day spent indoors with the television, and a meal without veggies won't negatively affect a child's well-being.  I've slowly learned those things that are worth reacting to and those that are not.

Prioritize what's important.  It's amazing how time can fly or stand still from one moment to the next. When I look at my 3 1/2 year old son, I wonder how my sweet tiny baby became this spirited little boy.  At the same time, those days of sleeplessness, potty training, and tantrums seem like an eternity.  Because there is only one of me and a finite number of hours in the day, I've learned to focus on those things that are important in that moment. Whether it's putting aside the dishes to comfort my toddler or spending the day at the park instead of doing chores, I've learned to relinquish the guilt of failing to complete the little things that are relatively unimportant. 

Seek Support.  I can't count the number of tears I've shed out of fear, frustration, or discouragement.  It's in those moments when I feel like a failure that I need the support of my husband, my best friends, and my mom the most.  Elicit a few good friends or family members that you feel comfortable sharing, venting, and seeking support and advice from.  You can also join a local mom's club. 

Equip yourself with tools from the past.  In some ways, the second child is easier.  You know when to call the doctor and when you can treat your child at home.  You've developed your discipline style and have experience with sleep and potty training.  Make use of those experiences to guide your parenting, while recognizing that each child is unique and may need a varied approach. 

Take a break.  Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility.  It's ok to admit that you're emotionally and physically exhausted.  When I find my patience wearing thin or my mood becoming irritable, it's time to refuel.  My husband and I work together to give each other a little extra sleep, some alone time, or a night out with friends. 

Remember that it will get better. As I look back on the past year, I've seen a change...a growth and maturity in my son.  He's less of a baby and more like a child and his actions are reflective of that. 

By Guest Blogger Caryn from Rockin Mama

I don't know anyone who hasn't had to "cut back" in some way or another with the economy being the way that it is.  I'm very fortunate to still be able to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom, but I've had to stay on a budget to have that luxury.  I've always been frugal (or just plain out cheap), so this hasn't been a stretch for me.  To understand how much you spend, you really need to sit down and write it all down.  You will then be able to wrap your head around where all of your money goes and you can decide what is necessary and what isn't.

One of the biggest expenses is food.  If you have a baby, making your own baby food is the best way to save money.  You can use a blender if you don't have a food processor and chop up the fruits and veggies that you're preparing for your meals.  Bananas are the easiest to make, simply smash them up with a fork.  Not only is it cheaper, but it’s healthier.
 
Cutting coupons is a great idea, but you need to remember to use them. I used to clip coupons like crazy, just to forget to use them when I was checking out.  I usually only buy items when they are BOGO (buy one, get one free), or deeply discounted.  I now use websites that tell me which coupons to pair with those sales and I get them for a few dollars, free, or sometimes I make a profit.  Grocery stores also discount their meat right before they are going to expire; I buy it and throw it in the freezer.  The key to buying things only when they are on sale is to know what is in your pantry.  Be sure to check often, otherwise you will forget that you bought something and it might go bad before you get the chance to use it.

Check store clearance racks often.  One of my favorite stores updates their clearance selection on Wednesdays or Thursdays, so I run by on Thursday mornings while my son is in preschool. I was able to score some awesome Christmas gifts (including toys) this summer for up to 75% off.

Seasonal products go on clearance at the end of that season.  The end of summer is my favorite because I stock up on adorable children's outfits, shoes, swimsuits, pools, pool toys, etc for 75-90% off.  We spend our summers in the water, so it is better for me to buy those items at deep discount in August instead of at full price in May.

 
Don't forget to save whenever you can.  You never know when you'll need to buy something that wasn't expected, or have a repair expense of some sort.  If you continue to save, you'll also be able to "splurge" occasionally for fun items or activities for your family.

 
There are many great deals out there if you keep an eye out and start buying ahead of time.  Even if you find a great deal, don't buy it if you don't need it.  It is so hard for me resist a good deal, but I'd go broke if I bought every bargain I came across.  Living on a budget can take a lot of planning, but having the extra money is definitely worth it.

From guest blogger, Dee, Two of a Kind