Hey Moms!

It’s that time of year. You know what I’m talking about. The time when you place undue amounts of stress on yourself, hoping the shutter speed will be fast enough to catch your cherub (with just the right amount of blush in the cheeks) so you can show him/her off to the world. You plan meticulously, call every photographer within a 56 mile radius, stay up for hours the night before, making sure the baby is sleeping and when his big day comes…… you will stress yourself sick in an effort to get THE PERFECT PICTURE.

*Sigh* Okay, pull up a chair and a cup of coffee and listen to your Good Enough Mother. There is no perfect. I know you’ve heard that before. You may have even SAID it before. Now I want you to believe it! The thing is the entire outing will be less stressful if you don’t make the stakes so high.  With that in mind, here are three quick tips:

• Start with a well-rested baby: You already know this to be true, yet time and again we think about everything but the well-rested baby. We’re worried that we’ll lose the deposit on the studio, she won’t have another slot for months or the cherub will never be as cute as he or she is right now. Stop. Those are artificial deadlines. So what, the holiday pictures go out in February (I’ve done that). If the baby is rested and smiling, that’s a small price to pay.

• A well-rested mommy helps too!: You probably don’t need me to tell you, but when you’re fatigued the world is one, hot, smelly-diaper of a mess. I am not kidding! If you want an accurate idea of what the picture will look like, you’ve got to be able to see through more than blood shot eyes. Remember when everyone said, “Make sure you nap when the baby naps?” Do that!  Even if baby doesn't smile on cue, it will all be okay, because you’ll have your wits about you.

• There's no such thing as perfect:  You’ve heard that before? Well, allow me to reiterate it. Perfection only occurs in fairytales, where people have babies and are back in their straight-leg, size zero jeans in three weeks. This is real life; welcome to it. That means cranky babies, pimples on picture day or maybe both. So you have to punt. Yes, the photo may not be ideal, but when you look at it in its perfect frame you’ll remember what a great time you had when you relaxed and just let it be.  You can’t control bad weather or baby acne, and pretending that you can will only cause more stress for you and baby (then see what kind of photo that gets you).

My kids are a little bit older now, but ask me how many perfect photos I got when they were babies. Yep. Zero. But the memories I have of each one? Those are just right.

What’s your secret plan? How will you attempt to get a decent baby picture this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

You wouldn’t really blame me, would you, if I said I feared the holiday season? It’s not the idea of cooking (though that terrifies me) or the idea of company for more than three days (that terrifies me too). No, for the same reasons Pavolv’s dogs salivated at the sound of the bell, I have a conditioned response to the holidays and unfortunately it’s not a good one.

To be fair, I should say that I USED to fear this time of year. I’m getting over it. This time five years ago, I heard though the grapevine that I would be losing my high profile job. This happened as I was finalizing plans to have my mastectomy. Two years later, during the same time of year, I was hospitalized with a respiratory infection that resulted in my hair falling out. A year later, a job that I just KNEW was going to change my luck and give my family a firm financial footing, didn’t materialize. And on it went.

As I said, that’s all changing because I decided that instead of looking at what I didn’t have, what I had gone through and wondering why me, I was going to start looking at the stuff that was going right in my life. So here they are five things I am thankful for:

• My Family:  I know everyone says that, but I really mean it! I think of my family as a buffer against the storms of life.  I’ve got a great husband who’s been with me through this time of transition, both physical and occupational. I have these two great kids, who remind me daily that I am doing something right. It’s such a joy to watch them mature into young adults. Even better when they seem to now understand the basics of good hygiene! 
• My Health: I couldn’t say that a few years ago. Weak from my five-hour operation, it took the better part of a year for me to regain my strength after my mastectomy. I wasn’t sure I would ever be the same. It took time, but with diet and steady exercise I’m as strong as I used to be. Well, almost.
• My Hair: This was the biggest surprised of all. I have always had a love-hate relationship with my hair, mainly because I was trying to get it to do something it didn’t want to or wasn’t designed to do (sound familiar?). When my hair fell out I decided no more chemicals and I was going to accept it for what it was. That was pivotal in my reinvention because it was around that time I really started accepting ME for who I was. Plain ol’, imperfect, Good Enough Mother!
• My Home: I complain about the housework. I complain that I can’t close the refrigerator door because there’s too much stuff inside. I complain that I can hear the kids shouting from their rooms. But the reality is that the housework is done in the house that I own; the full refrigerator means no one will go hungry and the kid’s have their own rooms. Time to stop complaining.
• My Passion: I get tired and like everyone else, sometimes I want to give up. But I don’t. Why? Because I feel like, at this late age, I found my life’s work. I’m happy to share my health and hair stories as well as my parenting foibles if it makes women feel better about the job they are doing as wives and mothers. I want them to be okay with taking themselves off the bottom of the “to-do” list and to understand that by taking care of themselves, they truly ARE taking care of their families.
• So I’ll be counting my blessings as I peer over the dinner we could afford to buy and that my husband made (which is of course, one more thing to be thankful for). I’ll rejoice in the one hour ceasefire among the warring factions and marvel, like I do every year, at how grown my children are and how blessed I am to be a part of their lives. No one said this life would be easy but even in the struggle it is a beautiful thing.

What will you be thankful for this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother