Okay I have a confession to make. I’m not perfect. I wasn’t a perfect kid, I wasn’t a perfect student, I wasn't a perfect single, workingwoman and I am not a perfect parent. Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Of course I knew all of this when I became a parent, but that didn’t stop me from buying into the sterilized view of parenting. You know what I’m talking about. Those warm, glowing, everyone’s happy mothers who never yell at their children or beat themselves up when they do ‘that which makes us human.’ In other words, they never make mistakes.

Well, let’s just say it didn't take but a few months before I blew a crater-sized hole in that way of thinking. I was going out on one of my first outings with my daughter, all by myself. I had everything packed – diapers, pacifiers, diaper pad (for her) breast pads (for me). Yep, I was feeling pretty darn good about my efforts, until she had a, um, what’s the best way to describe this, a blowout. In the car. Then screamed for a mile and a half until I could pull over and see what was going on. In that long list of things in the diaper bag, notice one missing? Wipes! Yes, I had no wipes to help in the er, em, cleanup. So I punted. Once I determined what the problem was (and it wasn’t that difficult), I went to the nearest fast food restaurant, bought a large drink and asked for a ton of napkins. Using the bottle of water in my bag (see, I had nearly everything) I wet the napkins and gingerly patted my princess’ bottom. Was it the perfect situation? Nope, not even close. Did it work, you bet.

From that I learned three crucial things that have stayed with me through the parenting journey.

1. Laughter helps, A LOT: If for nothing else, than it keeps you from wanting to cry! You think I didn't want to do that when the smell overtook my car, or as I was trying to pull the car over safely and get my baby taken care of? Whew. When it was all said and done, the thought of that much, em, stuff, coming out of that beautiful baby’s bum, was pretty funny.

2. Learn from your mistakes: In fact I don’t even like to think of them as mistakes as much as lessons along the path. You can be certain of this; I never forgot wipes again. You know why? Because that experience taught me to keep a checklist, (similar to the one HERE on the Evenflo site) in one of the diaper bag pockets. Yes, I know it seems a bit much, but it kept me from the horror I experienced that afternoon.

3. If they judge, you don’t need them: Motherhood is hard enough without the few who never make mistakes (they’re lying) standing in judgment of those of us who do. If you make a mistake and someone gives you a hard time about it or questions your ability to be a good parent as a result, you really don’t need them in your life.

Now, I have to be clear about one thing; a kid with a poopy diaper in your car is a minor parenting foible. But there are some mistakes, like overlooking the proper installation of a car seat or leaving a baby unattended, can never be allowed to happen.

The thing about motherhood is that sometimes you’ll feel you’re batting a thousand; other times you’ll wonder why you’ve been entrusted to care for something so small and helpless. And sometimes those feelings will come on the same day. Along with the above tips, I would add this, understand you are not the first to make whatever the dreaded mistake is, nor will you be the last. You, and your child, will survive it; heck, kids have been doing it since the beginning of time. Take comfort in that.

Good luck mommy!

-Rene Syler, aka Good Enough Mother

It’s February and you know what that means? It’s all about love. Chocolate hearts, cards with warm sentiments, sharing it with those who mean so much to us. But this month, instead of thinking about how much I love my husband, I switched it up a bit and put my kids in there. I really wanted to explore why I love being a parent.

Now look, you know as well as me that it’s not all wine and roses, something I talk about a lot. I try to paint a realistic view of parenting, the joys as well as the pains, and there are plenty of both. My challenges now are a little bit different in that my little ones are not so little (in fact, one of them is taller than me) and they talk back. A lot.  But even with that said, I still love being a mom.

Today I was thinking a lot about it and what exactly it was that I loved so much about it. I think it’s different for every stage I’ve experienced with my kids.

LOVE IS-A TRUE SMILE: I’ll never forget when my daughter smiled at me for the first time. Of course she had done it before but those gassy grins don’t count. But when she was about eight weeks old, she broke out into a huge grin in response to my cooing at her. My heart fluttered so wildly I thought I might faint. I still feel that way sometimes.

LOVE IS-GENUINE EMOTION: To me, there are few things better than being greeted by a toddler.  You remember don’t you? They spot you from across the room and drop whatever it is they were doing to run to you and clasp their plump little hands around the back of your neck, completely pure in their adoration.  They don’t even have to say, “I love you” since it’s showcased in the most transparent fashion.

LOVE IS-REAL CARING: My kids are teenagers now and sometimes it’s hard to get a gauge on what they’re feeling, since most of their answers to my questions are monosyllabic. But the other day, I slipped and fell on the ice. My son dropped his book bag to come help me up, and then took over the role of salting the rest of the driveway. My daughter, as soon as she got home, walked over to the cupboard to get me some pain relief medication. Each in their own way demonstrated true care and concern for me and it made my heart swell.

LOVE IS- ALL THAT AND MORE: I have no idea what the next several months or years may bring. But I do know that even in my perfect imperfection, my children love me and you know what that means? I did something right. All those nights I lay awake wondering if I was causing irreparable damage because I wasn’t “doing it right” were just wasted energy. Parenting is such a visceral thing, given there’s no handbook that comes with that 8-pound baby.  So even though I was feeling my way through the day (and continue to) it’s moments like this that make me see that clearly I’m doing something right.

What about you, what do you love about being a parent? Which of your kids’ age did you love best and why?

Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

Hey Moms!

It’s that time of year. You know what I’m talking about. The time when you place undue amounts of stress on yourself, hoping the shutter speed will be fast enough to catch your cherub (with just the right amount of blush in the cheeks) so you can show him/her off to the world. You plan meticulously, call every photographer within a 56 mile radius, stay up for hours the night before, making sure the baby is sleeping and when his big day comes…… you will stress yourself sick in an effort to get THE PERFECT PICTURE.

*Sigh* Okay, pull up a chair and a cup of coffee and listen to your Good Enough Mother. There is no perfect. I know you’ve heard that before. You may have even SAID it before. Now I want you to believe it! The thing is the entire outing will be less stressful if you don’t make the stakes so high.  With that in mind, here are three quick tips:

• Start with a well-rested baby: You already know this to be true, yet time and again we think about everything but the well-rested baby. We’re worried that we’ll lose the deposit on the studio, she won’t have another slot for months or the cherub will never be as cute as he or she is right now. Stop. Those are artificial deadlines. So what, the holiday pictures go out in February (I’ve done that). If the baby is rested and smiling, that’s a small price to pay.

• A well-rested mommy helps too!: You probably don’t need me to tell you, but when you’re fatigued the world is one, hot, smelly-diaper of a mess. I am not kidding! If you want an accurate idea of what the picture will look like, you’ve got to be able to see through more than blood shot eyes. Remember when everyone said, “Make sure you nap when the baby naps?” Do that!  Even if baby doesn't smile on cue, it will all be okay, because you’ll have your wits about you.

• There's no such thing as perfect:  You’ve heard that before? Well, allow me to reiterate it. Perfection only occurs in fairytales, where people have babies and are back in their straight-leg, size zero jeans in three weeks. This is real life; welcome to it. That means cranky babies, pimples on picture day or maybe both. So you have to punt. Yes, the photo may not be ideal, but when you look at it in its perfect frame you’ll remember what a great time you had when you relaxed and just let it be.  You can’t control bad weather or baby acne, and pretending that you can will only cause more stress for you and baby (then see what kind of photo that gets you).

My kids are a little bit older now, but ask me how many perfect photos I got when they were babies. Yep. Zero. But the memories I have of each one? Those are just right.

What’s your secret plan? How will you attempt to get a decent baby picture this holiday season?

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

I love going to the gym. I do, I swear. If only I hated food as much as I love going to the gym, I’d be buying a teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini. Why do I love it, you ask? Because, other than the fact that I have a great gym located near our house, I’ve made it as pleasurable and easy as possible. Here’s how you can do it that way too:

•    First and foremost, you have to pick a gym that has a great child-care room. For me, that’s number one. The gym I joined in Texas had only adequate care, and the boys only came with me a handful of times. This forced me to work around my husband’s schedule, which meant half the time I never even went. Plus, it’s never a great situation to come home sweaty to a messy house and hungry children. Pass.

The gym we go to now (It’s a YMCA. Love, love, LOVE!) has fantastic child watch. The staff knows my boys by name, and they both just run in without hesitation because THEY love it, which is vital. Knowing my boys are safe, being attended too, and are having FUN, gives me the opportunity to work out with peace of mind. When you tour a gym, get a good look at the childcare room. Ask to talk to the manager. Get to know the staff by name.

•    Shower there. Before you get dorm room flashbacks, hear me out. Wouldn’t it be great to get home already showered and dressed? It takes a little bit of prep work, but I’d MUCH rather prep then come home, turn on the TV, give the boys a snack, sneak in a quick shower with your little one opening the curtain getting wet... I promise you’ll very quickly get over the flip flops and shower caddy when you get an extra 20 minutes of peace and quiet, and can leave the gym fully rejuvenated and ready to move on with your day. Hey, you might even get to do your hair!

•   If you don’t have time to shower, just bring a change of clothes. Even that much will help you leave “it all” at the gym.

•    Work it into your schedule. With rising gas prices, it doesn’t make sense to drive to similar locations twice in one day. Once you’ve showered at the gym, you can make that quick stop to the grocery store or Target. Hit the park on your way home. Meet some friends for lunch. Duck out of playgroup a bit early, and skip showering at the gym, since it will be naptime when you get home. Or better yet, get going right away in the morning and workout before a play date (If you have any tips on how to do that, please let me know. I am SO not a morning person)!

•    Have a specific gym bag, and keep it packed at all times. Sometimes finding the motivation to pack all the bags, on top of changing diapers and putting on shoes is enough to keep you at home. Fill your bag with extras- hair products, make-up bag, toothbrush, deodorant... just make sure it’s a big bag. =)

I got a HUGE backpack, which is great when I’m carrying one kiddo and holding hands with another. My boys have a gym bag too, with their diapers, wipes and sippy cups. We only use this for the gym, so it stays packed and I don’t have to think about it when we’re leaving in a hurry.

•    Buy yourself some nice workout clothes. It’s worth the investment.

•    If it’s a gorgeous day out, and a friend you keep playing phone tag with invites you to a picnic at the park, by all means- skip the gym and go to the park. Forcing yourself to go to the gym will only build resentment. Make the gym a place that you love to go to. Be spontaneous and go on a whim when your kids are driving you particularly NUTS (this is where that packed bag comes in handy).

•    Get a gym buddy. They work wonders.

•    Start taking a class. Get to know the regulars in the class. The accountability and socializing will keep you going week after week.

•    Just run. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the infinite ways of working out, just run. Start with 1 mile. A mile is nothing, right? Well, once you’re comfortable there keep lengthening the distance. I started this a few months ago, and I’m up to running 2.5 miles and will be doing my first 5K!

•    When all else fails, get the most out of your gym membership by forcing your husband to go and take the kids. Bliss.

By Guest Blogger Joanna from The Bragging Mommy

I remember two things very clearly about my own nursing experience. First, it was so much more rewarding than I had anticipated. I didn’t go into my first pregnancy feeling strongly about breastfeeding one way or the other and really hadn’t given it much thought until my OB mentioned it to me. The other thing I remember - it wasn’t easy.

Hang on! Don’t stop reading just yet. I don’t say that to dissuade you, but I do want to give you the truth. Of course, it’s not like that for everyone but it took a minute (well several actually) for me to really get the hang of breastfeeding. So if you’re thinking of nursing, I say go for it and try these tips.

* BE PATIENT: Get this in your head right now. Even though you have the “equipment” you might not have the know-how, yet. That will change if you just take it one step at a time. I remember thinking nursing was going to be as easy as popping a breast into the mouth of a hungry baby and it would be the most wonderful, fulfilling experience in the world. That was true, but not right away. My daughter was a fussy nurser. Ultimately I had to hire a “lactation consultant” and three of us (my mother was in the mix too) would be hovering over one engorged breast, begging this baby to eat (okay, I was begging). After about a week or so, something miraculous happened; like learning the steps with a new dance partner, Casey and I figured it out and it was smooth sailing from that point on.

* FIND NURSING-FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENTS: My favorite time to nurse my kids was at the end of the day. I was able to get completely in the moment and enjoy my baby; everyone was relaxed and it was a wonderful time of bonding. But relaxation is key and that’s hard to do when you’re trying to feed your baby in the stall of a public restroom because there’s no place else to go. Yes, I did that. Yes, it was not pleasant. So if you’re going to be out and about with baby, keep an eye out for places that have nursing friendly environments. Big department stores typically have a lounge area with comfy sofas that will work perfectly.

* PLAN AHEAD: I had to return to my life as a busy news anchor while I was still nursing and everyone knew it too. Why? Because the contraption I used to pump was ENORMOUS!  And it came in a HUGE blue, hardcover case. Once, while going through security at the airport, I had it on my shoulder and when I bent over, it fell and hit an elderly woman in the head. I was mortified because it almost knocked her out! Yes, it was that big! Thank goodness they aren’t anymore. Breast pumps today are better designed to make pumping a breeze and they’re often small enough to fit in your diaper bag so you don’t have to juggle three bags and a baby! That’s what I call convenience with a capital C!

One last tip: Don’t worry about what everyone else says about how it “should” be done. Listen to your gut, be patient and work with your baby until the two of you figure it out. You may ultimately decide that nursing isn’t for you and that’s okay too. I hope these tips help, if you do decide to give it a go.

Best of luck, mommy!

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

It's never too early to start teaching your children about responsibility.  Even young toddlers can help out around the house.  In fact, toddlerhood is a great time to start teaching kids to pick up after themselves, set the table for dinner and more, because they are very eager to help.

My two and three year old children help with the laundry by putting their own clothing into the laundry hamper each morning after getting dressed and each night after putting on their pj's.  They also help me transfer clothing from the washer to the dryer, sort and fold socks, and even drag the laundry basket to the laundry room on occasion.

While I'm preparing dinner, I have my three year old set out the silverware and napkins.  He also takes care of his dishes when meals are over.  He enjoys helping so much; he often cleans up after his sister as well.  While I'm emptying the dishwasher and after I've removed the knives from the silverware holder, his job is to put away the forks and spoons.  These things are helpful to me and they make him feel grown up and proud.

As you go about your household tasks, think about what your child may be able to help with.  At first it may seem more like hindrance than help, as they learn to master the jobs.  Just remember to be patient.  You may have to demonstrate something a few times before they pick it up.  If the task is too hard, try again in a few months.  Their motor skills may not be developed enough for certain tasks. Be consistent in your expectations. In the long run, it will pay off.  You'll not only have taught your child responsibility, but independence as well.  Your child will be confidant and have the skills they'll need to succeed on their own.

By Guest Blogger from Mommies with Cents

With children comes a lot of responsibility. Being single and having unlimited freedom is a thing of the past. No more all-night parties and last-minute trips out of town. Welcome to motherhood! Doing things for “you” will become few and far between. From changing diapers and hourly feedings, to play time and reading books, you will find that your baby will consume your whole life.

Amongst all those chores and necessities, how do you create time for yourself within all the chaos of raising kids?

• Ask for help: Family and friends are sure to want to hold your little baby, or take your little one to the park. During that time, take an hour or so and pamper yourself. Head to your favorite store and shop for yourself or even take a nap.
• Sleep when the baby sleeps: I used to think that when the baby slept, I had time to finally get things that I needed done. Wrong! I would always work away while the baby slept, and when the baby woke up I was exhausted. I finally gave into the notion that sleeping when they baby sleeps was actually a brilliant idea. I would find more energy to tackle the day when I got those extra minutes of shut eye.
• Enlist daddy with feedings: Dad loves to help and what better way than to ask him to feed the baby. If you are nursing, use a breast pump and save an extra bottle or two in the freezer. Then when you need some extra time to yourself, dad can take care of a feeding or two.

No matter what you do, make sure you take some time for yourself. Schedule one day for yourself every month. Get a pedicure or a manicure. How about an hour massage? Whatever you do, enjoy it! You deserve a much needed break and it will make you a better mommy.

By guest blogger Hollie from Real Moms Real Views

I remember when I got pregnant I constantly heard, "This is going to change your life forever."  Little did I know that I would never understand this phrase until I had my children.  There are so many things that I wish I had known (or at least understood) before having children.

1. Babies eat nonstop.  Babies eat every 2-3 hours.
2. No matter how much I clean, my house will never be clean enough or even remain clean for a minute.  Having kids means owning more stuff.  Having kids means somehow food will find its way into the oddest places.
3. Taking a shower takes on a whole new meaning.  I have learned to wash my hair, body and shave in 5 minutes time it seems like.
4. It's amazing how much parents can function on such little sleep. Being a parent means never sleeping the same way again.  Becoming a light sleeper is almost imperative as children are always on the mind.
5. The day may have been long and hard making you wish it were over, but once it's over, you can't wait to spend time with your children again.
6. Wearing bodily fluid all day (that isn't your own) becomes a norm.
7. Most importantly though, something I would have never been able to know is how much love I truly have for all of my children.  There is definitely no greater love and bond between a parent and a child.

By Guest Blogger from Mommies with Cents

Congratulations! Your baby is now here and, unbeknownst to you, he or she is incredibly talented.

Yes, you thought you were getting a run-of-the-mill kid who pooped and drooled, bestowing the occasional smile in between. Nope, not you. You gave birth to the smartest baby on the planet because he/she exited the womb knowing how to tell time. A wonderful thing, right? WRONG!  Because you’re a teacher who works 8 to 5 and your little bundle of joy keeps the hours of a hard-partying rock star, with similar vocal ability and temperament. Welcome to the world of the 3am feeding.

Of all the difficult tasks when baby first comes home, managing the 3am feeding is the toughest of all.

And as you doubtlessly know by now, you can’t even set your clock for 3am – your baby’s hunger can come on anytime between the hours of “I-just-shut-my-eyes” to “surely-it’s-not-time-to-get-up-yet.”

I remember that nocturnal time like it was yesterday; truth be told, I never understood the term “bone-weary” until I had an infant. But now, being on the other side, let me offer a few tips to make the nighttime journey more palatable. Okay forget I said that, how about just bearable? Here’s a little Good Enough Mother advice to get you through these tough times…

SLEEP WHEN YOU CAN:  You know why people say that? Because fatigue is not your friend. It colors your mood and makes you feel old and look wrinkly. That’s not a good combination. So you have to grab a wink here and there, when and where you can. The dishes can wait! Who cares if the laundry doesn’t get done today? Hubby has no clean underwear?  Have him buy more. You had high hopes for a real home cooked meal (After 17 years, my husband is still waiting on that)? It ain’t gonna happen tonight! It’s not always going to be like this, but it is for the time being. This is like battlefield triage; you will stem the bleeding but it won’t be pretty.

BE PREPARED: Listen, I didn’t spend my entire childhood as a girl scout in troop 573 and not learn a thing or two. You gotta be prepared! Have a plan, and in this case (if you’re not nursing) it’s a bottle that’s good to go. Now my kids are a little older so I didn’t have the benefit of some of the cool things they have now, but having that bottle ready made life so much easier. 

ASK FOR HELP: Okay, there will be times where doing it all is going to earn you the undying love, support and admiration of the masses. This is not one of them. Trying to do so will result in extreme fatigue and you know what that does (see above). So when your mom or mother-in-law volunteers to take the baby for a couple of hours, take them up on it! This is not the time to be a hero and truth be told, even a baby who can tell time is not going to notice you’re gone for a few hours. This is a win-win; mom or mom-in-law gets their baby fix and you get the rapid eye sleep you’ve been deprived of since the second trimester. What’s not to love about that?

So those are my three tips – but what about you? What’s worked for you so far? I’d love to hear about your experiences…

Oh and one more thing. Remember this - it doesn’t last forever. It only feels like it does.

Good luck!

By Evenflo Savvy Parenting Expert Rene Syler, founder of Good Enough Mother

I heart Target. Doesn’t everyone? It’s such a beautiful, peaceful place, filled with aisle after aisle of ways to fuel my nasty shopping addiction. For me, Target is retail therapy at its best. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good old fashioned mall trip when I’m feeling the blues, but the mall is filled with things that don’t fit my post-two-baby-body, and that I can’t afford. Yes, I love to shop at Target. The only issue I have with the place is their lack of daycare. I mean really, wouldn’t that be a goldmine? Until that day arrives, I’m forced to enter my favorite place in the world with two whiney toddlers in tow. Ugh. My boys are, for the most part, well-behaved. But any well-behaved child can grow a couple horns and a tail when they are forced to be buckled into a cart and simply look at all the things they want to get their hands (and mouths) on. I think I would despise the place too. The trick to avoiding this fate is to make it an enjoyable experience for all.

• Give in to popcorn - It may seem over-indulgent to buy your kids a snack just so you can go shopping, but I’m here to tell you I’m not above it. You have to ask yourself which is worse: not being able to shop without a snack in your child’s hand, or have your children continually rebel against shopping trips. I made my choice. If you are shopping at Target or other superstore, you can easily find coupons on their website or even via smart phone which make popcorn and other snacks dirt cheap, so you don’t have to feel guilty about spending the money. It only took me one instance of my son dropping a half bag of popcorn ALL OVER the aisle for me to start bringing little bowls with handles. Now when they drop it, I can manage the clean-up by myself. And don’t forget drinks/sippy cups, it doesn’t make sense to pay for drinks too.
• Better yet, eat lunch there - A lot of grocery stores in our area have great food options, even if they are a bit pricey. Target’s food is affordable and many Walmarts have McDonalds or Subways. The trip becomes more like a fun event, rather than a chore. Once properly fed your child will be a lot less likely to melt down. Just make sure it isn’t near naptime!
• Do the work at home! - Don’t wander the aisles aimlessly trying to think of something else you need. Check the circulars from your Sunday paper, or online, so you already know what is on sale. Keep a good list, then stick to it while at the store. It keeps the cost down as well! Save browsing for times when you can escape your house without the kids.
• If you are an extreme couponer- wear a backpack - You will look silly, but it makes getting in and out of the store that much easier. You can also tote anything your kid will need as well.
• Bring a friend - Who says playdates have to be at a park, your home or even the mall?  Meet for lunch, then get some shopping done while catching up and letting your kids interact from cart to cart. You might get a little more talking done than shopping, but at least you can check the essentials off your list.
• Let them help - If your child is older, let them help with a few things on the list.

By guest blogger Joanna from the Bragging Mommy