For months my husband and I had conversations about the "right time" to add to our family.  My first excuse was that our little boy was still a baby and I wanted more time with him.  Subsequent excuses included financial freedom, career advancement and even a clean house.  Alas, the decision was made when one day, that little plus sign changed our lives once again.  The truth is, I was scared to add a second child to the mix.  I didn't grow up with siblings and I had no idea if my time management and organization skills could handle a second child.  Couple that with experienced mothers who'd advised me that adding a second child was more than twice the work, and I was convinced that if the decision had been left up to me, we may never have added to our family.  It's been one year, and I can honestly say that I've finally reached a point where the days when things go right far outnumber the days when they don't.  And I'll venture to say that my two sweet children have captured my heart so completely, that I may even think about adding a third to the mix.  So how did we manage to survive a year with an infant and a toddler while maintaining our sanity?

Get organized.  My experienced mom friends weren't exaggerating when they said that two is more than double the amount of work.  The closer the children are in age, the more difficult it will be...for a time.  Getting and staying organized will help alleviate the busyness of this time.  Whether it's maintaining an online calendar to keep track of schedules or simply starting a routine to pick up at the end of the night, organization decreases stress, frustration and chaos.  Setting goals for the day also helps to keep us organized and productive. 

Don't sweat the small stuff.  It wasn't until my daughter was born that I realized how much time and energy were wasted on things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of life.  A night of staying up too late, a rainy day spent indoors with the television, and a meal without veggies won't negatively affect a child's well-being.  I've slowly learned those things that are worth reacting to and those that are not.

Prioritize what's important.  It's amazing how time can fly or stand still from one moment to the next. When I look at my 3 1/2 year old son, I wonder how my sweet tiny baby became this spirited little boy.  At the same time, those days of sleeplessness, potty training, and tantrums seem like an eternity.  Because there is only one of me and a finite number of hours in the day, I've learned to focus on those things that are important in that moment. Whether it's putting aside the dishes to comfort my toddler or spending the day at the park instead of doing chores, I've learned to relinquish the guilt of failing to complete the little things that are relatively unimportant. 

Seek Support.  I can't count the number of tears I've shed out of fear, frustration, or discouragement.  It's in those moments when I feel like a failure that I need the support of my husband, my best friends, and my mom the most.  Elicit a few good friends or family members that you feel comfortable sharing, venting, and seeking support and advice from.  You can also join a local mom's club. 

Equip yourself with tools from the past.  In some ways, the second child is easier.  You know when to call the doctor and when you can treat your child at home.  You've developed your discipline style and have experience with sleep and potty training.  Make use of those experiences to guide your parenting, while recognizing that each child is unique and may need a varied approach. 

Take a break.  Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility.  It's ok to admit that you're emotionally and physically exhausted.  When I find my patience wearing thin or my mood becoming irritable, it's time to refuel.  My husband and I work together to give each other a little extra sleep, some alone time, or a night out with friends. 

Remember that it will get better. As I look back on the past year, I've seen a change...a growth and maturity in my son.  He's less of a baby and more like a child and his actions are reflective of that. 

By Guest Blogger Caryn from Rockin Mama

I wish I could get someone else to potty train my child. There. I said it. It might be my very least favorite part of parenting. I’m so grateful that the peer pressure potty training technique of my sons’ preschool has been so successful. It seems that nothing can motivate a toddler like the opportunity to sit on the potty with his friends – AT THE SAME TIME IN THE SAME ROOM! Placing three little bums on three little potties in a row is genius in my book.

If only the preschool staff made house-calls to deal with the overnight situations or the out-and-about errands. Oh well, I guess I have to conquer some of these tasks on my own.

Here are 5 universal truths about potty training I’ve gleaned from my half-hearted participation in the toilet education of my own children.

You can lead a toddler to the toilet, but you can’t make her pee.
Yes, I have observed that children do it when they’re ready. It will never be on my own time-table, and I’m a control freak, so this one really hurts

When you ask, “Do you have to pee?” most children will lie to you.

I have asked this very question seconds before my child has wet himself in the car seat and on the couch. Ugh and ugh.

Sweatpants are your friend.
For quick potty runs, it helps toddlers to have pants they can pull up and down on their own-- and quickly.

Candy and stickers will only get you so far.
I am not above bribing my child for the desired result, although I do think we need to be careful not to throw a parade for every deposit in the toilet. (When does it end?  Will they ask their Kindergarten teachers for M&Ms? Their college roommates?) Wishing for a one-size-fits-all approach, I have been dis

appointed to learn that some personality types love the sticker chart and candy bribes while others could care less.

The range of normal is broad.
Wondering when your child will stop needing diapers at night? I just learned that between age 3 and 7 is considered normal. That’s pretty wide open, but should offer you some comfort if you find yourself tossing a package of pull-ups into your shopping cart for the same kid who correctly read “Gun Show Coming Soon” from a highway billboard

My only real tip after my battle-scarred journey down the potty training path is to offer opportunity and don’t force the issue. Children can smell your anxiety and pressure and they rebel against it.

Do you have any tips or lessons learned to share?

By Heather from rookiemoms.com

[photo credit: Child Care Learning, Ontario]

My son's third birthday came and went and the end of diapers was nowhere in sight. It had been a full year of introductions, yet my son was showing signs of non commitment.  He liked the idea of a potty...when it suited him.  Toddlers are just too busy with Thomas and Toy Story to take five minutes for a potty break. 

It wasn't entirely his fault.  There was always something that took precedence.  And the birth of our daughter at the time we should have been actively engaged in the process set us back several months.  What was once an exciting step towards becoming a "big boy" had lost its appeal.  Along with wanting to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed and drink from a bottle, my son no longer wanted anything to do with the potty.  He wanted his character-themed diapers...just like his baby sister. 

Knowing I was fighting a losing battle, I let my son dictate his readiness.  For several months the potty sat in his bathroom,  untouched.  While I had great aspirations of holding a potty training boot camp, we packed our weekends with activities and outings.  It wasn't until my son's preschool teacher gently asked me how the potty training was going that I fully committed to ditching the diapers for good.

While we are still in the midst of potty training my son, the finish line is in sight. I've been assured that my son won't go to college in diapers, but nonetheless, here are some tried and true tips for toilet training your tot. 

Ready, set, go!  It's just as important for parents to be ready as it is for the child.  Think about any upcoming life events that may interfere with the process of potty training.  Starting school, moving, and gaining a sibling are significant life events to a toddler who is building self-esteem and working towards autonomy.  It may be beneficial to wait until things have settled as a toddler very often can only handle one life change at a time.  Parents should also plan to set aside some time to focus on the task at hand.

Build Them Up!  Once my son got past his regression, all he wanted was to be a "big boy."  We bought him big boy underwear and praised him every time he was successful or went a day without accidents.  We also made a big deal out of each success with hugs, high-fives, and praises. 

Ditch the diapers...and the pull-ups!  Pull-ups today are simply modified diapers.  It's difficult for a child to feel wet in pull-ups because they're typically made to pull moisture away from the body.  My son needed the feedback of feeling wet in order to learn when it was time to use the potty.

Get them involved!  From the type of potty to the character on their underwear, it's important for toddlers to be a part of the entire process.  I once told my son that if we were going to buy him underwear, he couldn't pee on Buzz (Lighyear that is). 

When in Doubt, Bribe!  I have been known to use Gummy Bears as an incentive to use the potty.  I also let my son pick out a sticker or treat when he's successful.  Every single time.  They call that positive reinforcement! 


Expect and learn from accidents!  I remember one particular day when my son was struggling and had 3 messy accidents within the period of an hour.  Instead of fussing at him, I thought about the happenings of the day and realized I was not doing my part to remind him.  While accidents are a pain, they will decrease in number if you're both committed to the process.

By guest blogger, Caryn Bailey RockinMama